Rise

Chapter 3

Maybe it won't work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be

                                                                                      the best

                                                        adventure

                                                                             ever.

*********************   

We landed on Yavin 4 ten minutes later.

I was sitting on the cushioned seats surrounded the table. I was trying to organize my thoughts, which was what I usually did to occupy myself.

Mostly, though, I just needed reminding of who I was. Or who I had once been.

    I'd once been an innocent little girl, who bounced around playing with anything she could get her hands on.

    Now I was a woman who's every move, thought, and word dripped with murder. That was another thing that I wanted back--my innocence.

    But from the day I held my first gun, it all started going downhill.

    Really, though, it was the reason why I'd grabbed my first gun that was the cause of all this sadness inside me.

    But sadness seemed too weak of a word--depression sounded too practical--and melancholy sounded too vague.

    Suddenly, I felt the whole Falcon shake a little as it touched down on the landing platform. I thought of the hundreds, maybe thousands, of Rebels who were out there.

    I got nervous. I jumped to my feet, hugging myself and struggling to breathe. So many people would see me, and have no idea who I was. Would they not accept me? Would I be treated as an outcast?

    Leia was suddenly beside me, looking at me with a hint of concern. I was surprised that she even cared about how I felt--after all, I hadn't even known her for a whole day yet.

    "Are you nervous?" Leia said, lowering her voice so as not to let anyone hear her words. I gulped and nodded, trying to look as brave as I could.

   

    "Look...I can't promise that they'll trust you and accept you, completely and truly. But, believe me, if they make a wrong move, they'll be sorry." Leia's gaze was trusting, and a small smile flitted across her lips as she spoke to me.

    I felt like I had just broken the surface of water, and I breathed in deeply. I would trust Leia, this time, because I had no one else to trust. I hadn't really trusted anyone in years--but Leia was starting to gain the very thing I'd tried so hard to hide.

    Luke and Han were in front of us as the ramp lowered down from the Falcon. Bright light filtered into the ship, and I forced my heart to slow down. If these people were going to see me, then I would walk out there like I belonged. I would hold my chin high and step surely, and I would look only forward.