Rise

Chapter 31

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You've already won me over
in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall
head over feet
And don't be surprised if I love you
for all that you are.

Head Over Feet, Alanis Morissette
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A few days before the dance and a few days after Leia telling us about the dance, I'm taking a walk around the base. This is something I do to clear my head; I'm not falling back into depression again, but I like just walking around and thinking. During wars, people don't get much time to think. To daydream.

As I walk, I think about how, not too long ago, I'd been a homeless girl on the streets of Mos Eisley. The thought is strange, and I feel as if I've lived three lives--one, as a struggling girl in my village on Jedha. The next, a depressed, lonely creature living on the streets. The third, a rebel with friends that were like family.

It's funny, really, how things can change. I recall a childhood memory; I remember me and Armenia, sitting in class, talking.
"What do you want to do when you get older?" Armenia had asked me while our teacher scolded a student.
My 9 year old self had responded with, "Well, I want to do stuff with you. How about we get rich and go live on Coruscant and go to fancy places to eat at together?  And we'll buy awesome dresses and dance with hot guys."
My plan, though childish, seemed smart and sensible--possible--at the time. Armenia, I remember, had gasped and nodded. "Yesss! We should do that, El. And maybe we'll become governesses or something and tell people what to do."

"But governesses don't fight people," I'd frowned.

"Well, I'll be the governess, and you'll be part of my royal guard or something."

"Okay, I like that."

We'd smiled at each-other, and then had done our friendship fist-bump. It was what we did whenever we'd sealed a pact, or were about to do something.
Those dreams, though childish, never left us. Me and Armenia kept dreaming those dreams (but we made adjustments, of course). Before we'd known it, we'd even started saving up money to get a ship and make a living on Coruscant. That was the future I'd thought we'd have.

But things hardly ever go the way you plan them to. I'm thinking of that dream of living in a fancy palace on Coruscant, and it's so different from the dream I'm currently living in. This dream is gritty and bloody and yet feels like it's full of family.

I'm snapped out of my daydreaming by the sound of footsteps against the snow. I look up and turn my head, and I see Luke running towards me, his eyes wide and a breathless smile on his face.

He looks happy; he reaches me, and his hands are gripping my shoulders so tightly it hurts. "Whoa! What is it?!" I ask, laughing slightly.

Luke is gasping for air, his chest heaving as he stands up straighter. He's grinning uncontrollably. "I just--just asked--" he's laughing now, and he yells, "YES."

"Luke, what?"

"I just asked Cecily. To the dance." Luke breathes, meeting my gaze as he bounces up and down on the balls of his feet.

My eyes widen and I take a breath. WHAT?! He asked her? But he's so nervous how did he even do this what even I need details--

"Dude--what!? What'd she say?"

"She said yes." his voice had lowered to a slight whisper, and he absolutely could not hide his smile.

I'm smiling now, too. I elbow him excitedly. "Oh my gosh, you have a date! LUKE. YOU HAVE A DATE."