Rise

Chapter 41

Anger will help you survive for a while,

but it'll eat you alive. 

*********************

The next day, I go down to the cafeteria, where I see my friends. Luke's eyes are puffy and red, with bags underneath them. I feel a pang in my chest at his pained expression, and the urge to run up and hug him is nearly overwhelming. 

Han and Leia look sad, too. I assume that Luke had told them about Cecily. "He told you guys?" I ask, surprised at how downcast my voice sounds. 

Leia nods. Han steps closer to me as I stop beside him. "Yeah. We woke up and people were talking about how some girl stole an X-Wing; it was probably Cecily." he looks unhappy, but not like Luke does. I can't blame him, really. Han didn't know Cecily like me and Luke had. Sure, he'd been friends with her. But they weren't super close.

"Do you think she'll be back?" I ask, to no one in particular.

"Who knows?" Leia responds, her voice low and tentative. She sounds like she's on the verge of tears. "Anything could happen." 

There's no words spoken for the next few minutes, and then I remember the bracelet on my wrist. "She gave me this," I tell my friends, holding up the hand that has the bracelet. "Apparently, we can sense each other's feelings and current state through it. It's some type of force bracelet." 

Luke looks up, wiping away tears with the heel of his hand. "Is she alright? Can you tell?"

I'm not sure. To be honest, I don't know how the bracelet works. But I close my eyes anyway and try to tune in to the bracelet's energy, hoping desperately for a sign of Cecily. As I do this, I feel a strange humming in the bracelet, and, with my eyes closed, I can see a scene unfolding before me.

I appear to be walking down a corridor. The walls are dark, glassy, and smooth. Abruptly, I realize these are the walls of a Star Destroyer corridor, and just as this thought crosses my mind, a trooper comes around the corner.

With a jolt, I realize that I'm looking through Cecily's eyes, because a green-sleeved arm clutching a yellow lightsaber stretches forward. I have an intense sense of anger, and a deep rage is suddenly boiling in my chest. There's a hint of sorrow there, too, but no regret. This must be what Cecily is feeling.

Blinking my eyes open, the scene disappears, and the humming in the bracelet stops. My heart is beating fast, and I still feel like I'm in the hallway. As Luke, Leia, and Han look at me, I suddenly hear Cecily's voice, of all things, speaking into my head. 

Don't do that again.

Stunned, I blink rapidly for a few seconds, and think, as hard as I can, Why? 

Just don't do that again. Promise me you won't. 

Somberly, I silently answer: I promise.

/////////////

Me, Han, Luke, and Leia all worry about Cecily. We worry about her all through that day, then the next morning. It isn't until a day later, around lunchtime, that I suddenly feel a sharp, stabbing pain on my wrist.

Han, who's walking with me, notices me stop as I clutch the area around my bracelet. "El? What's wrong?" he's already reaching for me, but I jerk back, my breaths suddenly rattling in my chest. The pain from the bracelet comes again. 

"Han--" I get out, feeling a fiery agony burning my chest, my limbs, my entire being; "Something's wrong." 

"With you, or--"

"No, with Cecily." that must be what it is. That is the only logical, plausible answer. I'm not just feeling pain anymore, but now I'm feeling a furious, unbelievable anger. An undying determination along with sharp courage. 

He looks at me, his eyes wide. "Ellie, is she okay?" his voice is hushed, afraid. 

I feel my heartbeat as if it isn't even my own. "Yes." I answer. Cecily is alive. I feel it in my bones. But where's the pain coming from? I'm not feeling pain anymore, but I still feel her anger. 

Fear envelops me, and I know that this fear is my own; not Cecily's. I'm afraid for the bracelet to go dead. I'm afraid for the sign that something happened. "Han," I start, trying to reign in my fear. "We need to go."

He's bewildered, but thankfully, he doesn't look too against it. "Okay, um...who's going with us? And to where?" 

I blink hard, trying to shove away the feelings the bracelet is giving me. I concentrate for a second, imagining a mental wall between the essence of the bracelet and me. After a second, I no longer feel Cecily's anger, nor the strange, fiery pain that had accompanied it. The bracelet, while helpful, is now becoming distracting. "We can't take Luke and Leia. Leia's taking charge of things while one of our generals is gone, and Luke...." I stop, then say, "If we don't return, he needs to be here." 

Han steps closer to me. "But where are we going, exactly?" 

I allow the bracelet's energy to flow through me for a moment. Somehow, its telling me where to go. "There's a Star Destroyer a little ways away. It's carrying Vader." How I know this, I'm not sure. "Cecily must be there to fight Vader. She must be fighting his troops now, or him." I shudder. "I don't know, Han, but I have a bad feeling. We...."

"What?"

"We should've never let her go," I gasp, feeling my fingers beginning to tremble. "I know it was what she needed, but she...she can't do this herself. We have to go help her, if not bring her home." my heartbeat, it seems, is in my very mind. 

Biting his lip, Han looks hesitant. For a moment, I'm afraid that he'll tell me we need to stay. But my fears are quieted as he nods. "Okay." taking my hand, he's leading me towards the docking bay. "But we'll have to take one of our stolen Imperial shuttles to get on the Destroyer. I'll radio Leia and tell her where we're going, and that we'll radio her again when we need her to send out an Imperial cargo ship to take us back to here." 

He's cooperating. I let out a deep sigh, feeling relieved that I'm doing this, and that I'm not doing it alone.

By the time we reach our ship, Han has already stuffed his radio into his back pocket. I barely heard Leia's response over the roaring in my ears. We're actually going to do this. Heck, we're probably breaking rebel protocol. We're probably breaking rules.

But all I know is that we have to get to Cecily. I'm tempted to look through her eyes with the bracelet, but I'd made a promise to her that I wouldn't. I was intent on keeping that promise. 

My heart is heavy and full of dread as me and Han board our shuttle.