Rise

Chapter 30

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There is freedom waiting for you

on the breezes of the sky.

And you ask, "What if I fall?" 

Oh, but my darling,

what if you fly? 

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Me and Han find Leia, who's sitting at the circular booth in be cafeteria. Luke and Cecily are with her, and they're chatting away, while Leia just looks bored. Upon seeing us, though, she sits up quickly and nudges Luek.

"Okay, everyone's here, okay, okay," Leia pats the table as a sign for me and Han to sit down, and so, I end up in between him and Leia as we sit in the booth. I feel rather cramped, but I'm also quite liking Han's shoulder being pressed against mine.

"Weren't you going to tell us something once everyone got here, Leia?" Luke asks, scooting tentatively closer to Cecily.

Leia nods. "Yeah, yeah--okay, so, guys..." she pauses, and looks rather excited about what she's going to say. "Given the past few months, our Rebellion hasn't had much reason to be happy. So, in light of that, I got wind of some news, and there's going to be a ball in a week!"

I feel my heart jump a bit, and I'm filled with an exciting feeling. I'd never been to a formal dance before, or any big dance, for that matter. Looking over at Cecily, I see her grinning, and she looks just as happy as I feel. Leia must be anticipating the dance, too, because I can see the same excitement in her eyes as well.

The guys, however, are different. They're smiling at first, but then they both get wide-eyed, anxious expressions and exchange a glance. I don't know if I'm the only one who's noticed this. And as I continue to notice them, I realize that they must be nervous.

Ah. That's because they're guys, and we're girls, and guys ask girls to dances. Of course; naturally, they feel obligated to ask us to the dance. But I'm certain they won't act on it. Luke would be too nervous to ask Cecily, and Han wouldn't ask me, probably, because I don't think our relationship is romantic. What if Han just wants to be friends? What if all those moments we've had together were just me overthinking things? What if I've just been perceiving things the wrong way?

If Han's going to ask anyone to the dance, it won't be me. I don't see him asking Leia, but they've known each other for a while. They knew each other before I knew them. The thought of seeing Leia dancing with Han made me feel strangely sick, but I pushed this feeling away. It wouldn't be a big deal, because they're my friends, and if they did that, then I'd be happy for the two of them. Plus, because of how nervous Luke is, he wouldn't ask Cecily to the dance in a million years--so, I could just sit away from all the dancing with him, or Cecily.

It sounds so juvenile, compared to the bigger problems that the galaxy is going through; war, slavery, destruction. I was worrying about whether Han would ask me to the ball, while others were worrying about whether they'd live to see tomorrow.

Beating down my intrusive, irritating thoughts, I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back. I smile. "That's going to be fun," I reply, adding an extra hint of enthusiasm to my voice. "It's a good idea, too; it'll give everyone a breather from the war."

Han nods, and he seems to be trying to find his voice. "Yeah, I--I like it." he puts his hands in his pockets, and then drops his hands to his sides. After this, he runs his fingers through his hair. It's like he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Luke is clearly attempting a small smile, but is failing and instead making a crazy-big grin. I think he smiles extra-big when he's nervous. "Mhm." he responds, rocking back and forth on his heels.

I exchange a silently amused glance with Leia (not with Cecily; she's oblivious to the boys' attitudes). Leia has a faint smirk on her lips as we look at the boys, then at each other.

After a few more minutes of awkward silence, we decide to order food. After this, we all launch into conversation about whether we should petition against the food there or not (it's disgusting, but hey, food is food). Somehow, the safest conversations were ones that involved degrading what was on the menu. But I couldn't get the thought of me, in a nice, floaty dress, dancing with Han. It's a thought I enjoy having, but also one that I don't want to have. I want to allow myself to feel this way--I really do.

But I'd been burned once, and I'd learned my lesson.

Love was dangerous. 

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Thank you all so much for the support in this story so far <3 I can't believe how far this story has come, and I can't wait to see how many more people will enjoy it. Please consider leaving a vote/some feedback if you like this story! Anything is appreciated!