Rise

Chapter 5

You can't start the next

chapter of your life if

you keep re-reading

the last one.

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. 6 hours later....

Six hours later, our group was fixing to land on a planet near Taris. We'd decided (well, everyone else had; I just sat and listened) to spend a night or two on a neighboring planet called Phariah.

I could see the planet, far off in the distance of space. It was desert-colored in some spots, and then jungle-green in others. I'd been staring at it for a while now.

In the past 6 hours, I had busied myself with various things. First, I'd explored each and every room on the Falcon. After that, I'd busied myself with trying to figure out the mechanics of some odd board game in the lounge room. Next, I had grabbed a quick snack out of an "icebox". I didn't know what it was actually called, so I'd deemed it "icebox". The snack had been, I'd suspected, meant to be in the box to get super-cold. I'd eaten the cold but sweet treat next to a window that looked out at the stars and galaxies beyond.

    Now I was back at the window again, with a second cup of the delicious cold stuff. I spooned it distractedly into my mouth as I looked out at the distant planets. As I observed, it occurred to me, right then, how truly big the universe was. I'd only lived on 2 planets my whole life; and to see all of these places was truly bizarre.

    I thought about it--somewhere on one of these planets, or maybe more than one, there was a little girl wondering how her life would turn out. She was a dreamer and an adventurer. Another girl who hadn't yet found her purpose but was searching for it.

    And as this thought formed in my head, I felt suddenly less alone than I'd ever felt before.

    This train of thought only grew. On each planet I looked at, there could be the universe's greatest destiny unfolding. A boy could become a Jedi today. A girl could survive a war today and come out with a new understanding of the world, and with a need to change it. There could be two lovers, whose love is meant to tear the universe tragically but beautifully in two.

    It shocked me that this could all be happening right now, and I'd never, ever know. It shocked me that things that were so impactful on other's lives had no effect whatsoever on mine.

    As I leaned my head against the window, I felt oddly peaceful. I imagined myself, out there, floating in the vacuum of space--completely controlled by the universe. I very much liked the idea that I didn't have to be in total control of my destiny, and that the universe would control the rest. With this knowledge, I closed my eyes, and for once I wasn't afraid to sleep.

   

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This dream wasn't like the others; it didn't have the same intensity the other ones usually had. It, however, still terrified me.

    But this one was odd.  

    I was floating in darkness, with tendrils of shadow wrapping up and down my limbs, squeezing and releasing them. I felt them slithering around my stomach, contracting and causing me to gasp for air. They kept putting pressure on my stomach, my chest, squeezing the life out of me.