Don't You Forget About Me

Chapter 3~ Guilt

Chapter 3~ Guilt

"So you're saying there's still a 1% chance that she'll make it?" I asked trying to control the tears.

"Yes, but it would be quite stupid to hold on to that sliver of hope." Well that was rude and I gave him a look to show it.

"I don't mean it as in your stupid I just mean don't get your hopes up son. You're being very optimistic about something that has more of a chance to never happen than anything else. I sent pictures of her catscan to the best doctors out there and they all came back positive that she won't make it. The brain damage is just to serious. If it continues getting worse or if she doesn't wake up with in the next month or so we will have to pull the plug, family consent or not. Company rules."

"So what if she does wake up? What will happen?" I asked ignoring his death comments.

"If say such a miracle were to happen there is a list of things that can happen to her."

"Like what?"

"Well; she can become mentally challenged, paralyzed, crazy, and many more but there is one thing that is the most common and the worst for the loved ones."

"What?" I asked.

The doctor stayed silent as he searched my face to see if I was sure I wanted to know.

"Don't hold back on me now Doc."

"She can have memory loss."

I didn't expect that answer.

"How far will it go back to?"

"It's hard to say. It varies with the person and amount of damage. She may forget the last few weeks, months, or even years."

"So if she wakes up, she might not remember me? Remember us?"

"I'm afraid not."

I slumped back into the bed as I soaked all this up. I can't believe this happened. I get off with a few broken bones and cuts but Beca gets put into a coma? What kind of twisted fate is that?

Just then the doctor's pager went off pulling me from my thoughts.

"I'm sorry but I have to go. I will be back later to check up on you and son," the doctor stopped at the door and looked back at me, " I really am sorry about your girlfriend."

I nodded at him and he left. All of this information piled on top of all the guilt I'm feeling is just to overwhelming and I cracked.

"Mom." I called for my mom as I began sobbing.

She quickly wrapped me in her arms and rubbed my head just as she used to do when I was younger.

"It's all my fault. If I would've just watched the road Beca wouldn't be in this terrible position. I'm so stupid."

"Honey, you're not stupid and this isn't your fault. It could've happened to anyone." My mom tried comforting me.

"But it didn't! It happened to me!  I love Beca so much, I always told myself I'd never do anything to hurt her but now look where we're at. Not only did I hurt her but I practically killed her."

My mom pulled my face up to look her in the eyes. She held my cheeks between her forefinger and thumb.

"Now you listen to me and you listen to me good. This is not your fault Jesse and that girl is not dead. As far as I'm concerned 99% is just a number. You two have the type of love that can break through anything. Your love is stronger than the glue holding this building up. Now, she will wake up and you will get your girl. If she does lose her memory, you have to promise me that you will do everything in your power to make her remember. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Ok, good. Now, I'm going to go get your medication and call your father to let him now you're ok. You be good and keep those nasty thoughts out of your head, they are filthy viruses and I will not stand for that crap." She said then left the room leaving me to sit and sulk all by my lonesome.

~A Week Later~

My dad came back from his business trip in China to visit me the day after the accident. It's now 4 days after the accident and my father's words are still twirling around in my head.

'Love conquers all' is what he had said. I know I love Beca but she never told me how she felt about me. How am I supposed to know if she loves me or not?

These thoughts kept running through my head until a knock on the door pulled me from them.

"Hey honey." I heard my mom's voice.

She's been here everyday for the last week and each time she walks through that door with the same greeting it still makes me happy.

"Hi mom." I said as she walked into the room.

"So the doctor said you can leave today. He has to do one last checkup though."

"Great." I said.

I can tell she was searching for the right thing to say to lift my spirits. After a minute, a little smile grew on her face.

"He also said that Beca is allowed to have visitors now."

I immediately looked at her.

"And he knows you want to be her first....visitor." She continued.

"Really?" I said with a huge smile on my face.

She nodded just as the doctor walked into the room.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Swanson. I see you told Jesse the news." He said with a bit of a smirk.

"When can I go?" I asked.

"After I finish this checkup. Now, follow my finger with your eyes." He said then started moving his finger in different patterns.

He continued do little tests until, after 10 minutes, the checkup was done.

"Ok, your good. Now continue taking your medication until it's gone and if you have any problems come back immediately. Any questions?"

"No."

"Great. You're free to leave. Check out at the desk." He said then left the room.

"Go on upstairs and visit Beca. I'll check you out." My mom said.

I hugged her then quickly changed into my clothes and went upstairs.