Don't You Forget About Me

Chapter 20~ Old Flames

Chapter 20~ Old Flames

*Beca's P.O.V.*

"What are you doing?" Luke asked, pulling away.

"Are you really questioning it?" I asked, avoiding the question. How am I supposed to tell the guy that I am using him solely based on the fact that he doesn't care about anybody else's feelings? Instead of continuing to question me he smiled then kissed me again.

He lifted me onto the desk and stood between my legs. His hands began to explore my body as his tongue continued to explore my mouth. I opened my eyes as he kissed my neck and started to push my jacket off. He had my jacket halfway off before I stopped him.

"Wait. I don't know if I can do this." he sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Beca. You can't lead me on like this then just stop." 

"I'm sorry, Luke but some of us actually have a heart."

"Look, you want him out of your head right? This is one of the most effective ways to do that." I thought for a moment then gave him a reluctant nod.  He picked up where he left off, kissing me ferociously. 

He pushed my jacket completely off followed by my shirt. He laid me across the desk then climbed on top of me. He pulled his shirt off then placed a quick kiss on my lips before trailing down my jawline to my neck. This is the perfect way to have my first time. On a desk, in a radio station, with a guy I don't love for no reason but to get the guy that I think I'm falling for off of my mind. There's no way this can get better (note the sarcasm). 

He soon goes from my neck to my chest. This does not feel right. Every time I feel his lips press against my skin, only one thing comes to my mind.....Jesse. This is wrong, I don't want to do this like this. My first time is supposed to be special, not just to get some guy out of my head. I don't even want Jesse out of my head anymore. I like having him in there, I'm ok with having these dreams, and I just want to be with Jesse. H*ll, I think I might even want this to be with Jesse.

"Stop." I said as I pushed Luke off of me. I jumped off the desk and pulled my jacket on, zipping it up to cover my lady bits. I don't know where my shirt landed when he threw it and I don't care. I just want to leave, I don't want to spend any longer in here.

"Beca." Luke started to say something but I ignored him and ran out. 

As I ran I kept thinking about how this would've been a huge mistake, probably the biggest mistake I would have ever made. I can't stop the bad feeling I get when I think about what almost happened and I have got to get to someone that I know won't judge me for my mistake. I push aside the fact that I'm running out of breath as I continue to run.

I speed up when I see Jesse's dorm and, instead of knocking, I push the door open and run into Jesse's arms. Not expecting the impact of my body hitting his, he struggles to keep his balance. He quickly grabs the wall behind him for support as he wraps his other arm around my back. After regaining his balance, he wrapped his other arm me. He burried his head in my neck and just held me tight, as if he knew that I didn't want to talk about it.

*Jesse's P.O.V.*

I had just finished pulling on my pajamas when my door flew open and Beca ran into my arms. I almost fell over but I quickly grabbed the wall for support. When I regained my balance I wrapped my arms around Beca. I sensed she didn't want to talk so I just burried my head in her neck and held her tight. I rubbed my hands up and down her back and her body pressed into mine a little more.

"I did something bad, Jesse." she whispered in my ear.

"Wanna talk about it?" I whispered. She pulled away from me and sat on my bed. Before joining her, I closed the door and grabbed a bottle of water out of the mini fridge.