Lost

Chapter 1

If someone asked you to define yourself in one word which one would you pick?

I wouldn’t know what to say, I am not very good with words but…

Lost is a good word to define me, or insecure or not good enough (even though it’s not a word) or maybe heartbroken…

After all I am not that bad with words..

In one year my life changed twice, it’s hard to believe but it’s possible.

When I was on 10th grade I met James, he was a different type of guy. He wasn’t a jerk like the guys of his age, he was a gentleman, he was perfect. And I fell in love with him during the summer and he felt the same way.

We started to date in September when both of us where on 11th grade and our relationship was amazing, at least it was for me. I used to have anxiety attacks but with him I was so good I felt so good.

We had so much plans, the prom, college, and we wanted to see the world together. Our families knew each other and really get along, so yeah it was the perfect relationship.

But everything must end and he just left me, one day he just said his feelings had changed and he left me, I fought really hard for him, I did but it wasn’t enough… Once more I wasn’t good enough.

Well I wasn’t better than Sarah, one of my closest friends, yeah we were close and she get really close to my boyfriend.

So the perfect guy suddenly turns into a normal guy, and I can swear he was the biggest disappointment of my life.  But I just couldn’t move on and he almost destroyed me and everything I was.

I cried for months and I am not the type of person who cries. My grades literally went from the top to the bottom, I pushed away everyone except Amy, she was my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without her.

My parents were supportive too, my dad didn’t care much about boys and stuff but my mum supported me, but I think they never really understood how bad I was feeling.

James broke up with me in March and in June Amy told me about the exchange program to England, it was really interesting but me? In England? Yeah that was maybe what I needed, I mean nobody was going to miss me, but I was scared I lost all my confidence I lost myself.

What I didn’t know was that my mom and Amy already had applied for the program, and just a few days after the talk about the program I received a letter saying I was accepted.

I didn’t know if I should get mad at them or happy, I really wanted do decline but that program was exactly what I needed.

 And Amy was going with me so I just couldn’t wait.

So here I am, I am flying to London today. I am in my room checking out if I have everything I need and saying the last goodbye to my bed, I will miss my bed!!

Amy just arrived, my parents will drive us to the airport she comes to my room and she has no package.

“Where are your bags?” I asked her.

“Kat…” Amy says looking at me.

My name is Katherine but everyone calls me Kat.

“Yes???” 

“Kat I am not coming with you.” Amy says turning her head down.

“What??” I don’t know how to react, I just wanna cry.

“I am sorry, but lying to you was the only way to make you accept”

“But why can’t you come?” I ask her.

“I wasn’t accepted Kat, my grades aren’t as good as yours.”

“Are you kidding? This year my grades were a complete disaster.”

“But you were accepted and you’re coming, please do it for me.”

“I really thought this was something we would do together…” I say with a lower voice.

“Don’t be sad, you will love London. C’mon think about all the hot British boys you will meet, they will help…” She stopped hesitantly…

“They will help me forget James, yeah I hope so.” I never told her but I am really scared that I won’t find anyone who can possibly love me, I will be forever alone.

We left the house and went to the airport.

I just can’t believe this, I am quiet during the whole drive. I don’t know what to say, now I realize what I am doing, I will leave my family, my school, my city for 10 months. But that is what I need, I need to be on my own, I need a new life. Omg my head is running wild, I am so confused.

Suddenly we are at the airport and my dad went to make the check-in and now they are hugging me and saying goodbye. That is really fast, and when I realize there is a flight attendant next to me, she is going to carry me, since I am under 18.

I enter in the plane and wait, I am really nervous it is my first plane trip. The plane takes off, and I think about everything that I am leaving behind. How will my friends react when they know? But wait… Friends? When I dated James I almost lost my friends and when we broke I pushed them away. I really should stop thinking about James.

The trip is really long, but I don’t realize because I fell asleep and I watched some movies. I forget to mention that I am from Melbourne so yeah the trip lasts almost 24 hours and i am going to a country totally different from mine, yes this what I call changing a life. When the plane land the flight attendant wake me up. As I get out of the plane I realize I am in London and I feel amazing. I made it! This was a thing that I always wanted and now I have the opportunity to make my dream come true.

It takes me so long to have my luggage in my power but when I have it I start to look in every direction waiting to see someone holding a card with my name or with the exchange program name, but I look everywhere and I don’t see anything. So I start to walk around and I am feeling the panic taking over me, anxiety attacks remember?

I am lost in my thoughts and I accidentally crash into someone. Oh did I forget to mention that I am clumsy?

“Are you okay?” A boy asks with a lovely accent.

“Yes I’m fine.. I’m so so so sorry!” I say frenetically without looking at him.

“It’s okay it was my fault! I was distracted and didn’t see you coming” – He says, and that was the moment when I looked to him and I immediately regretted. His eyes were so beautiful. They were sparkling soft blue-greenish eyes. But they had something familiar in them… Have I seen them before? 

We stayed there for what felt like years (but it really was one minute) staring each other.

But suddenly…

“Niall what are you doing here? Everyone is waiting for you!” Some boy who I couldn't see yelled.

“Niall” waves and starts running. And that’s when I start to think…

Niall, blond, blue eyes, in London? Oh god I just met Niall Horan. I used to love One Direction before I dated James... Ugh I should stop thinking about him, but I am glad I am realizing that he wasn’t that good. I just met Niall and I look really stupid for sure, he must be laughing at me.