Chapter 19-"I love you. Only you."

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Outfits: http://www.polyvore.com/19/set?id=117687447

DREAM*****

I was hanging from a cliff, my hands gripped tightly onto the ground above me, I was too weak to hold on any longer. I saw the blue eyes and I was pulled up. I stood up and thanked him. He took a step back and fell off the cliff.

"Pass me your hand!" I exclaimed, he pushed me away and I fell back.

"No I helped you but you didn't give two fucks about me before it was too late!" He exclaimed before he let go and fell to the ground, I dropped onto the floor crying. I'm so stupid. I didn't ask him if he was OK, I didn't ask why he was here in the first place. I didn't care about him, I didn't help him.

I saw the ghostly shape of him and embraced in a hug, slowly he became visible.

"Don't leave me, please?" He asked.

"Never." I replied, I stepped back and saw we were in a bathroom.

"You're going to go, if I show you, aren't you?" He asked, I gave him a confused look and he showed me his wrist, the blood rolled off his arms, I gasped and tried to help.

"No Lily, I helped you get better and you didn't give two fucks about me until it's too late."  He screamed before he made me watch him bleed to death. There was nothing left.

I did it again. I was selfish and I didn't ask if he was OK. I'm such an idiot. Everything changed and i was standing around a grave. Hollie, Ashton, Michael, Calum and Luke's family stood around here too. They all turned to look at me. I looked up and read the grave stone.

Luke Robert Hemmings.

1996-2014.

A charming son, dear friend, loving brother and dedicated singer.

Died because Lily Rivers was selfish and only cared for herself.

"IT'S ALL YOU FAULT! YOU SELFISH LITTLE COW! EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!" Michael screamed at me, I stepped backwards and saw Ashton heading towards me, he yelled endless hatred at me and every time I took a step back.

"WE HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! HATE!" They all screamed Ashton pushed my and I fell backwards into a hole.

END OF DREAM*****

I jumped awake on the couch, my jump waking up Tobie and Beanie. Beanie headed back to sleep but Tobie gave me a concerned look. I began crying and Tobie pulled me into a hug.

"I...I'm killing Luke." I cried, Tobie pulled me back and looked at me.

"What?" He asked.

"I...I'm being selfish and I'm not asking Luke if he's OK, I'm hurting him and I haven't made sure he's OK." I cried. Tobie calmed me down and I sat there staring at the wall.

"What happened in your dream?" He asked.

"First Luke helped me up off the edge of a cliff, then he was on the edge and I tried to help him but he told me not to because it's too late. Then he bled to death and made me watch because he said I only gave a fuck because it's too late. Then I was at his grave and everyone was yelling at me saying it's my fault and then I fell into a grave." I muttered.

"OK, calm down, it's probably just a dream." Tobie told me. I nodded and I climbed off the couch.

"I'm taking a shower." I told him, he nodded and I headed upstairs. I hopped into the shower and tried to forget that dream. Once I finished I changed into black jeans, a black jumper, that I have a feeling is Michael's, a blue hoodie and blue ugg boots. I walked downstairs and sat on Tobie.

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