Fin's Claim

Guilt Will Eat You

Finian's POV

A happy peace settles between Victoria and me. Bonding time in our makeshift spring den with our little family together.

This is all I will ever need.

"Like this Victoria." Teaching Victoria to change our daughter. She has never been exposed or taught how to handle a small infant. In her old pack, they would never allow her to get too close to pups, to small children even going out of their way to walk on the other side of the street with them if they saw that she was coming their way.

A memory drifts in poking at my eyes until I see the vision it wants to show me.

Victoria on the outside, just on the edge of the forest watching the mothers with their children at the park playing. When two of the children wander off too far, the mothers call out to watch out for the wolf; she's going to get you if you go too far.

Victoria's head hangs down slightly before it raises back up. Her wolf is talked about now in children's bedtime stories not to go too far or else the terror of the East will come and gobble you up, snatch you away from your mothers to never be seen again.

That halts the two young ones instantly in their tracks running back to their mothers for a quick hug of reassurance. With those stories, the fear of Victoria's wolf spreads and poisons the younger generation against the magnificent creature who could have been such a beautiful, loving animal. Instead, they made her become the most feared.

Victoria walks away from this sight with a heaviness in her body. She talks to herself making sure she isn't like that. She knows she is no monster, but now doubt creeps into her consciousness that she needs to convince herself that her wolf in no monster of children's nightmares.

She's not a nightmare, I'm not a nightmare, she keeps chanting to herself over and over again.

When she walks by her friend's house who has upgraded his status from his mates status, she can see them in the window a newborn in his arms with a smile that stretches his face in absolute joy.

She doesn't dare approach the door the last time she did; it didn't turn out well for her. Her eyes glaze over slightly with that memory. Victoria so excited for Charlie because his son arrived early in the night. She rushed up the steps knocking on the front door with excitement. When the door opens a very well groomed Charlie opens it. She didn't bother changing her clothes to her they are all the same, stained, threadbare, old and well past the stages of wearing.

Looking over his shoulder, seeing the presents in beautifully wrapped bags with ribbons and balloons decorating them has a heart pain spreading inside her chest. When she looks down, her hands are empty because she's unable to provide a gift.

Shame

"Victoria." Charlie's smile doesn't reach his face; it's one of obligation she thinks. He's changed slightly not the same but not in a bad way, in a grown male with responsibilities kind of way.

"I just heard, I'm so happy for you. I thought maybe this once it would be okay if I came over-"

"Charlie bring me my pup." His mates voice calling out from inside, a note of anxiety screaming against Victoria's body.

"I just wanted to say congratulations." Victoria takes a step away from the front door until she's down the steps. She doesn't want to be the strain in their relationship. Her voice is on that edge of sounding as if she's about to cry.

His mate takes the new pup out of his arms, retreating herself back inside the house. Victoria didn't even see his face, but she knows he's beautiful just like Charlie.