Fin's Claim

The Healing Path

Victoria's POV

Pale grey with a hint of deep silver reflects the color of his eyes that are catching the sun's rays just right. Sensations of currents waving down my spine settling deep inside my core that does not welcome these feelings. My heat making my body whisper to my mind that one touch would be alright, just one little nip of skin would be enough to get me through to the next day.

A fiend wanting that fix.

Looking at him with his hands in his pockets leaning against the door frame of my room, not entering because I asked him to stay on the other side. It's funny how he listens to me but I understand it's all an act to bring me up again so he can watch me tumble down.

He loves watching me fall...he always has and always will.

Carelessness that's what happened to me when I started believing I was worth being loved by him. Misplacing my trust in Finian, taken in by his honey words, his smooth hands that pretended to hold me as if he could love someone like me.

His ultimate plan worked, he made me forget who I am, what I have come from, what I have done to him. He made me feel that I was good, that I was normal that I was worth love and in the end, I trusted him that he was right and started to believe in us, in me. I believed that I was not born wrong. 

That was a mistake on my part assuming I was special enough to truly be loved, truly be cared for, what he made me feel after that kiss was I am nothing more than ruin and rot on the bottom of his shoe for him to constantly step on.

My walls came tumbling down, the little girl inside me finally having her make believe world come true. When she had nothing to eat, when the pain was so bad that she tried so hard not to pull in another breath, she would go away in her mind and pretend about our future and how happy she would be.

That wolf has ruined me, gutted me and I have to sit on his right and eat at his table and watch him try so hard to fool me over and over as if I am a small pup again who believes in things that just aren't real.

He is not my truth anymore, Finian is not my make believe dreams.

I don't believe in him anymore, his sweet smile and liars tongue is not to be trusted, they are to be fought against at all cost. When he does on occasion get under my skin like him making me that cake and giving me that picture book I just have to remind myself that he's just waiting for the opportunity to strike me back down to the ground because that's what he does to someone like me, someone who isn't good enough.

Nothing is better, nothing will be good except for Charlie....that's what's real, and that love doesn't lie....it's pure and magical.

The only thing in my life I have done right.

There are no more callouses around my heart built up to protect me from Finian.....he's made my heart disappear for him entirely.

My big girl fantasy now is to leave, take Charlie away but where would I go? He has control of the North, South, East and Western territories now. Plus he's a good father to her, he's even better with her than me, and that jealousy takes a lot to choke back down.

He teaches her things I have no idea about; he's loving, gentle and kind. He places her above everything else including his own comfort.

The heat of his eyes on me pulls me from my maze of thoughts. 

"Fin, can we just talk about this without you getting upset?"

"Victoria, don't ask this of me. This is too much."