Majestic

21.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be hard; we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me every day."

-Nicholas Sparks

I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around me. I grabbed my toothbrush and started my morning routine.

"Morning," Steph walked into the bathroom and I gave her a toothbrush-filled smile. I rinsed out my mouth and looked over at her.

"Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"I slept okay. With everything that has happened the past couple of days, it felt weird not talking about the baby more with Randy. I also haven't slept without him next to me in over four months."

"I get it. Josh and I have been attached for ten months."

"Wow! It's already been almost a year."

"I know. It happened so fast. It still makes my head spin."

"That's the feeling, Addy. I didn't have it with Tom. I thought I did, but with Ran, I just feel like there is no other person. I can't imagine being with anyone else."

"You've turned into such a cheese ball."

"Ugh, I know! I hate being this romantic," we both laughed and she looked at me with a serious expression on her face.

"How are you doing with everything? I know knowing I'm pregnant is making you feel sad."

"I'm conflicted. I am so happy for you and my brother, but I'm also not even close to getting over losing my baby."

"It's been four months. That is not enough time at all."

"How's Josh doing?"

"He doesn't talk about it much. I think he is scared that mentioning it will upset me."

"It was his baby too."

"I know, but I don't know how to talk to him about it. We still don't know a lot about each other."

"That's fair. I would just bring it up and say you want to talk about it."

"I will after the wedding. Today is Ollie and Ian's day."

"I'm here if you ever need to talk."

"I know, Steph," our conversation ended quickly when Quinn and Ollie walked into the bathroom.

"Good morning!"

"How's your hangover?"

"I feel like I got smacked in the head with a baseball bat."

"That is one thing I'm grateful for not having right now," Quinn stated while laughing.

"I'm surprised you're up and moving, Addy."

"Me too. I have a headache, but I drank way too much last night."

"I heard that Josh had to carry Ian back to the hotel. I hope he's not as hungover as it seems."

"Carson's been doing no alcohol with me through this pregnancy, but I told him he could break his promise last night. I'll get the details from Taylor later, but I hope he did have a couple of drinks."

"We should start getting ready. We have to be down in a couple of hours to help set up the tables and chairs."

"When are the guys coming down? I want to limit the chances of seeing Ian before the ceremony."

"I think they are coming down for the last parts of the setup. At least I know that Ian is."

"Okay," Ollie gave us a nervous smile and we continued to get ready. I was the first to head downstairs and Blake was already down drinking coffee with Damien and Josh.

"Good morning," I interrupted their conversation and Josh smiled at me.

"Morning, babe. Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure. Thank you," I kissed him softly and sat down next to Blake.

"I'm so excited for this wedding," Blake stated and Damien smiled.

"We're next," he said and Blake kissed him quickly.

"A proposal needs to happen before I agree to be next, mister," Damien kissed him softly and Josh returned with my coffee.

"Thanks."

"You okay?" I looked back at him and pressed my lips together slowly. I know I should talk to him, but I also promised to leave it until after the wedding, "Addy?"

"Can I talk to you outside?" Blake looked at me and gave me an empathetic smile.

"Okay," Josh followed me out to the pool deck and I pulled off my shoes.

"Are you okay?"

"No. Not really," I put my feet in the water and looked down at my hands. Josh sat down next to me and looked at the hotel surrounding us.

"Talk to me. I'm here."

"How do you feel about Steph being pregnant?" my question clearly shocked him and he looked down at me with tears rimming his eyes.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because you are always focusing on making me feel better, but it was your baby too."

"I don't want to talk about this right now. I focus on you because I know your heart is broken and I want to be there to heal it. I know it was my baby too, but I can't focus on my feelings right now."

"I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about this. I want to help heal you too."

"Addy. I can't do this right now," he stood up and walked back into the lobby. I hugged my knees to my chest and let my tears fall. I watched the water move slowly and I touched my stomach softly.

"Shit," I whispered before more tears stained my cheeks.

"Addy," I looked up and Blake walked towards me.

"I shouldn't have brought it up. I made it so much worse. I just wanted him to know that I was here for him too. That he didn't have to take care of me and not grieve over the baby too."

"It's hard sometimes to take care of ourselves when our loved one is struggling."

"I know, but it was his baby too. I know finding out another one of our friends is pregnant was hard on him. The look on his face said it all."

"He will come to you when he is ready. I would just leave it alone for now. Focus on making Ollie and Ian's day special and then talk about this with him again."

"Okay," I wiped off my face and shoved my feet back into my vans. We walked back into the lobby and Steph walked past me with chairs in her hands. Set up was in full swing and before I knew it, the ballroom of the hotel was transformed into an alter. I was standing on one of the tables hanging the paper lanterns when I watched Josh walk into the ballroom. My hands shook and I turned away from him and focused on the task at hand. I jumped down from the table and started laying out the table cloths and plates. I held in my tears and lit the candles with shaking hands.

"I can finish if you want to go up and get ready," Damien offered and I nodded slowly. I handed him the lighter and walked out of the ballroom. I took multiple deep breaths and pushed the button to call the elevator. I wish I didn't bring up the baby. Josh will probably ignore me for the rest of the wedding. I walked into the elevator and the moment the doors closed, I burst into tears.