[By chance...] ~Servamp~ (sleepy ash)Kuro x Reader ✔️

Chapter 22

Lately, ever since (y/n) had been sick, she had been having a tough time emotionally. For some reason after her immune system failed her, a wave of depression had hit her making everything tougher. Though she hid it well, her emotions seemed to be getting worse and she couldn't figure out why. She wasn't eating as much and wasn't nearly as active as before. She felt hopeless, she was stuck. She went back to her old ways of dealing with it, but each and every day it came back. She just couldn't seem to shake the sunken feeling.

~

(Y/n) girl jolted awake feeling a wave of anxiety rush over her. The feeling grew rapidly to the point where she felt sick so she slid herself off the bed quietly and headed to the bathroom just to be safe.
The light stung her eyes as she flicked on the switch and stepped into the small bathroom. She leaned herself on the counter and took deep breaths, slowing her breathing. She found herself growing calmer, only for her negative emotions to multiply moments later.

'Great just what I need right now... god It won't stop will it..?' (Y/n) thought. It had been a while since she had one of these disabling nightmares and it only worsened her poor emotional state.

The girl covered her face with both hands slowly sitting on the bathroom floor. She held her eyes tightly shut and could feel herself trembling as she moved, but she ignored it knowing there wasn't much that could be done. It felt like every little thought or movement made everything worse. She sat frozen in place waiting for herself to settle a bit.
After a while (Y/n) sighed, catching her breath. She brushed her hands back, removing her hair from her face, and let out another deep sigh. Slowly, she brought herself to her feet before leaning against the counter once more. She could still feel her stomach turning but decided to tough it out feeling that it wasn't as bad as before.
She was still extremely shaken up, but decided she was stable enough to at least leave the bathroom, and maybe go somewhere more comfortable to try and relax. The girl exited the room and peered over to her bed. Her vampire slept peacefully in his human form.
For some reason, part of her had the urge to wake him. Part of her actually wanted the vampire to see her in this state. He had always cared for her even when she said not to, and there was no doubt that if he was awake he would care for her just the same way. To be honest, he gave her a sense of security she had been missing for a long time. She soon realised she was doing something she hated more than anything. She was craving attention.
(Y/n) shook her head with a sigh. She needed to be sensible. It was late at night, she was emotional, her feelings didn't mean anything right now. There was no need to bother Kuro at this hour. Having him with her didn't give her a reason to be helpless all of the sudden. She could take care of herself just like she did in the past.

The girl took one last glance at her bed and it's sleeping occupant. She sighed knowing that in her state she would never be able to get back to sleep. She wrapped her arms around her waist and exited her room slowly, she needed to get herself to relax again.
Unlike earlier where she was unable to move, now she found that she couldn't stay still. Her unsettledness slowly faded into frustration as she couldn't seem to relax. She paced around the kitchen for who knows how long, not knowing what to do.
What little light there was happened to reflect off of something, catching the girl's eye. She glanced over to it seeing what it was. It's silver glare was inviting, yet she hesitated. 'You said you'd stop...' she demanded in her thoughts. She bit her lip, she could feel herself being torn at the seams.

"Ugh, I hate myself so much..what the heck...~?" She blurted out, dragging her words out in an exhausted tone as she over came her urge. She propped her elbows on the kitchen counter and covered her face with her hands, her frustration turning to self loathing. 'Why do I have to deal with this?' She thought. Why did she have to be like this? She never asked for it, so why did she have to put up with all these negative emotions every moment of every day? She wanted it to end.