Just A Ghost

1.2: Rose Anne, Stop Being A Matchmaker

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September 2nd, 2011

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It was close to evening and then I heard a female's voice in the background. "Hey! You two should make out!" I turn around to see Rose Anne peeking from the corner of the hall. I roll my eyes and said, "If you want to see my real face.. Meet me at the tower, I'm going for a run. Okay?" "Ghost, don't-" I ignored him and ran off. "Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!" I mentally scream at myself. "Stop being an idiot by running away.. You don't want this group to end like what happened at my school."

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~>Flashback<~

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March 31st, 2010

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"Sis. I'm going out for a run, okay?" I say with a smile. I had a knife in hand, my backpack on my back.

"Be careful, Ghost!" My sister calls. I grab the handle of my door, closing it slowly. I hold the knife in my hand. I breathe in slowly, my anxiety slowly fading. I walked past multiple deadummies, who were trapped in vehicles and such. I look around at the houses I've raided before. I passed by my friends' house. I walk for about 8 to 10 blocks, and see the school I go to, well went to before this shit happened. I pull at the lock on the school's gate. It easily comes off, I opened it. I hear the moans of the dead from far away.

"Shit." I mutter. I walk towards the school's cafeteria. "Huh?" I hear a male say. I open the lights of the lunch room and see my class. "Oh, it's you guys." I say blandly. "The dead are alive." Arveen says. "No shit, Sherlock." I say, sarcastically. "Tell me. Where are your supplies?" "Why should we tell you?" I hear Wyatt stand up. "You should be kinder to a girl with a knife." "The kitchen. They're in the kitchen." I hear Rose Anne speak. She seemed like the one doing the work for the group.

"So you're their leader?" I question.

"I'm no leader." She answers. "This is a democracy."

"If you think this world can be the way it used to be, you're dead wrong." I say. I walked towards the kitchen, opening my bag. I stuffed the food, the medical supplies and such. Rose Anne grabbed my shoulder, "You're not taking our food. Or our medicine. So don't steal from us."

"I'm surviving. Not stealing. There's an obvious difference." I retort.

"There isn't a difference considering how fucked up the world is." Wyatt says.

I zip my bag up and said, "There's a herd coming here. Follow me if you want to live." "How do we know you're not leading us to our death?" Arveen questions. "My question is: do you want to live?" I ask them, I got mixed responses, but all add up to a yes. "The herd might come from the 4th grade pick up gate, and the front gate is open." I stated the facts. "How about we kill the lurkers?" Wyatt suggested. "I would've if I had a gun." I mutter.

I hear the shuffling at the door I entered from. "Shit." I mutter. I see the muertos filling the room one at a time. I grab Arveen by the throat, slitting it.* I push her dead body away, letting the deadummy eat it. I grabbed the others arms leading them out. I watch the dead bodies shuffle around, I started breathing heavy. Rose Anne commanded "C'mon, we can make a run for it." I nodded, anxiety shriveled away. Rose Anne runs before me, but I sprinted to the entrance, where Nico was standing in fear. I hear him mumble "K-Kyleigh, you h-have blood on you." I pushed him out of the way. I grabbed the lock I took off, and lock the gate. "I'm sorry," I say on the other side of the fence. "I'll do anything for my Queen to survive." "Kyleigh, you bastard!!" Rose Anne screams at me.

She shakes the gate, drawing more deadummies to her. I look at her, then turned away. I had a feeling in my chest, that karma was going to be one hell of a bitch.

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~>Flashback Ends<~

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September 2nd, 2011

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I reached the top of the tower. I cried, I sit down on the cold floor of the tower. I take my mask off, and wipe my tears. I started mumbling my sorrows away. "Why did-did I leave you guys? I-I-I'm so fu-fucking stupid. I'm-I'm sorry Arveen.. I k-killed you and l-left y-you to be eaten by-by the monsters.. " I look at the sky as it cries as well. The rain speck my cheeks as my tears become one with the rain. "I left Nico for dead.. I knew he was scared, I knew he'd die. I could've saved him.. I nearly killed Rose Anne, killed Wyatt, and whole bunch of people.." I stand up, not able to get my emotions together. "Tell me, God, if you're actually here, watching us suffer... Tell me: WHY THE HELL ARE WE LIVING IN HELL!!!" I screamed out. "WHY THE HELL ARE ALIVE IF WE'RE HERE TO DIE!!" I was crying so, so much. I was screaming, now. I'm done with the way I live, I was done killing. I don't want this to happen, the deaths, the sin, the sacrifices. I don't want this to happen. "Why?" I say with tears falling.

"It's alright." I feel a pair of arms wrapping around me. I asked "Carl..?" "I'm here." He says. He lets go as I turn to look him in his deep blue eyes. I hug him again while crying. "I..I'm done trying to be an adult.. I want to live life to the fullest." I whisper. "Good, 'cause I have some pudding we can share." The boy says. I pull away from the hug, "Thank you." I say with sniffles in between words. We both walked towards the prison. "You know, I still don't understand why you covered up your face. You look fine." My face became beet red at his statement. I grabbed the straps of my mask once more and tried to clip it together. Carl grabs my wrists with his hands. I turned away from him. "I-I-I'm going to s-sk-skip out on pudding." I ran away as quickly as possible. I then ran to my cell. I took a breather. My sister said "Kyleigh? What's wrong?"

"I fucked up." I say with my voice cracking again. "What the hell is wrong with me? I can't.. I can't fall in love with him.. I fucking pissed off his father.. Been a bitch to all of them.. But.. I can't do any of this."

"-what the hell happened sis!!" I realized my sister was shaking me. I said "I fucked up.."

"With what?!" She continued shaking me.

"Everything.." I said.

"You-"

"I killed my friends in cold blood, risked so many lives, been too overprotective, and fell head over motherfucking heels for a guy, who's dad I've been a bitch too, oh yeah! Don't you remember the times I risked your life, or anyone's life? I risked your lives to prove I was a good shot! I then went on to accidentally went on a walker killing rampage, and got kicked out! I couldn't control my damn feelings, and it'll be the end of me! It might be today or tomorrow or the next month! But I know I can't deal with this.." I said, crying once more.**

"It's not your fault for being human!" My sister retorts. "Kaitlin, I'm not a human.. You know this, I'm just another monster."

Kaitlin takes her hands off of my shoulder and said "Fine.. If you're a monster, you're a monster. That doesn't change the fact I love you as my big sister. I get it if you need your space.. But please, please don't think of having emotions as a problem.. I may be three years younger than you, but I know monsters can't have feelings. And one thing you're not is a monster."

Kaitlin climbs on the top bunk. I lay on the end of the bed. It's been an hour, my eyes were red and dry still from all the crying I've been doing. I close my eyes, not minding that I have my glasses on still. I hear some voices across the hall panicking, I..

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*Sorry not sorry.

**Fun Fact: I have a mental breakdown more than twelve times in a year.

Should I continue lying down or follow the voices?