Ripped Open (Luke Hemmings)

End It

Angela's P.O.V

Do you ever feel betrayed? Like once you try to reach out for someone it comes back and bites you in the ass. Well that's how i feel right now. It's been another week sense i talked to Luke. He doesn't call me, or text me. He's always with his stupid girlfriend. Also it's all over Twitter. There kissing, holding hands in public. There doing everything together. Only if management didn't make me and Luke not see each other then i could be his. I don't even now if he likes me in that way... I don't even now if i like him more as a friend. But there's something. Something stronger then that, but its slowly drifting away... I miss him so much. I just want to hear his voice. I've been sitting in this chair looking out my window for god knows how long. Ignoring all the calls that comes in. I've been stuck here. Frozen. Shocked. Lonely. I need Luke to make me happy. Because with out him, I'm nothing. I'm just a broken peace of glass. My heart is holding together by one peace of string. I'm scared if i seen him with her I'll break even more. Soon that string will loosen up and I'll go insane. I cant hold on much longer. A tear slipped down my cheek, as i wiped it away. I'm never gonna get my happy ending. I'll always be here, numb. I feel numb more and more each day. Making me slip away from this hell known as Earth. Who could ever love me anyways? I was always used for money. God I'm so stupid thinking Luke would be something more. He loves her...I'll never be good enough for anyone. I've worked so hard, doing something i don't want to do. I hate this so much... I hate how I'm living. I hate how he has this strange effect on me. Why am i feeling this way? He wasn't even mine to loose in the first place. 

You know what you have to do, Angela. Whispered the little voice inside my head. I swear I'm going insane. I stood up and started walking down stairs. I wasn't controlling my movements anymore. Someone else was.. Or something. It's like this demon inside me is craving for revenge. Revenge on my body for not being enough.

******

I finally realize where i ended up. I blacked out not remembering how i got here. I think i walked. I looked up at my old house. Me and Logan's house. I started slowly walking towards the white house. It's a very tiny place. Far away from the paparazzi. Making it more safe. I was soon on the step. I looked under the mat to reveal a shiny key. I unlocked the door, shutting it behind me. 

I looked around the room. Beer bottles every where. Picture frames smashed on the floor. Holes in the walls. I never realized how much of a mess this house is. I slowly started making my way up the stairs. Soon i was in front of our room. I slowly turned the nob, pushing it open. The walls screamed my name, making me go insane. I looked around at the messy room. I seen the bed. It was messy. So many memories is in this room. The good ones, and also the bad. 

He raped me here. Multiple times, as i pointed to the bed. Also we had good sex here. I looked over and seen the hole in the wall where he pushed me, making my head hit the wall. Leaving a hole. There was blood on the carpet floor. I shivered as i looked around the room. A tear slipped down my cheek. I loved Logan. He never really loved me. 

I walked into the bathroom and seen the mirror. I looked at my appearance. I looked disguising, fat, and depressed. I felt sad, and lonely. I hated the way i looked. No one needs you. Just end it. Screamed the voice in my head. End it? What if i succeed this time, and i'll be gone for good. Luke doesn't need me. Logan sure as hell doesn't need me. He has Ruby. 

I grabbed all the strength i had and punched the mirror making it shatter into one million peaces. Just like my heart. I'm hear for Luke, and Logan. Two boys who is messing me up. Making me go nuts. I picked up a shard of glass. End it? End it? End it... I roll up my sleeve looking at the stitches on my wrist. There out, but the white scar will always remain there. I hold the sharp peace of glass to my skin, and drag it. Not across because it didn't let me die last time. I dragged it down. Making sure this is my last and final breath. "Bye.." i whisper.