She's All We Have (Completed)

Chapter 9

My phone started vibrating in my hand bag down by my feet.

I reached down for it, being careful not to disturb my sleeping daughter, who decided to use my arm as her pillow.

I started searching around for my cell and pulled it out. Dean's name was flashing across the screen and I was hesitant in answering his call.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" Nick asked.

"It's Dean."

"Oh course it is." Nick said and clenched his jaw.

I sighed then swiped the screen. "Hi honey."

"Hey baby. Just wanted to say hi. I'm working a double shift tonight and will probably crash as soon as I'm done."

"Oh. I thought you decided that you weren't going to do doubles anymore."

"Yeah. But you're not here and I'll just be at home alone doing nothing."

"I suppose that makes sense. But you could always go out with your friends."

"Nah. I'd rather have you by my side so I don't look like a total loser."

"Don't say that Dean. You're not a loser."

"I was only joking baby. But it's nice that you care."

I inwardly cringed. What am I doing to this poor man? I do care for him but I don't know if I still want to be with him.

"You know I do." I answered rather guiltily.

I could hear the elation in his voice. "I know you do Jules. It's just nice to hear it from you now and then."

My heart dropped and I shook my head. "Um. I have to go Dean. I'm about to drive and Shania had a big day today." I lied and felt like a total bitch for it.

"Oh. Sure. I'll call you in a day's time, after I get some shut eye." Dean explained.

"Yep. No worries. Stay safe."

"Always do. Bye Jules."

"Bye Dean." I answered then hung up. I felt my eyes well up and couldn't help the tears that fell. I quickly wiped at them then took a deep breath.

"Jules? What's wrong?" Nick asked and slowed down a little.

I shook my head then dug into my bag for some tissues. "Nothing it's stupid."

"Doesn't look stupid to me. Why are you upset?"

I sniffed. "Because I feel like I'm using him. He doesn't deserves to be treated like I'm treating him. He deserves someone who will love him."

"Look. I'm gonna take us back to my mom's house. She's out, so we'll have the house to ourselves. I'm not going to drop you back at your parents while you're upset, everyone will think I did something to upset you."

I nodded then blew my nose. "I'm sorry Nick."

"Don't be. It's okay to have a little cry now and then."

Nick carried Shania up to her room when we arrived, while I went into the kitchen to get myself a glass of water and to compose myself. I was feeling a little embarrassed about crying in front of Nick.

I downed the cool water before going out to the back porch to get some fresh air. I folded my arms and stared up at the trees.

"Jules?" Nick softly asked behind me.

I turned around and looked at him sadly and gave him a forced smile. "I'm okay."

"You don't look like you're okay." Nick said and took a small step towards me. I looked at him then dropped my gaze.