She's All We Have (Completed)

Chapter 50

A/N: So sorry for the late update. I have been busy plus having another case of writers block. This chapter is a little short and may have typos but I do hope you guys enjoy it. Again. So sorry for the long wait. 💕

Julie's pov

I stood in front of the morror and stared down at the the bottle of pills.

I had finally been to my doctor after a week back at work and told her what was going on with me.

My stomach had been tied in knots since returning to work and I was feeling nauseous and on edge. I have been getting stress headaches daily and was very close to having full blown panic attacks every time I drove closer to the office.

I've refused to park in the under cover garage and have been parking a block away and walking back.

She prescribed me some valium to control my anxiety and ease the panic attacks.

I was not falling back to sleep after my nightmares and had be faking it for Nick's sake so he wouldn't have to worry about me and lose sleep himself.

I didn't want to feel responsible if he had a accident at work or mess up on a job because of me.

I opened the bottle of pills and shook one out, taking it with some tap water before placing it high up in the medicine cabinet. I then brushed my teeth and flicked off the light before getting into bed.

Nick was probably still settling Shania and locking up the house. I laid on my side and soon felt the effects of the drug taking over and relaxing my body. And I was out like a light.

I skipped breakfast because I didn't feel like eating. I couldn't eat if I wanted to, my stomach was upset and churning and I didn't want to risk puking all over the car dash or office floor.

Nick opted to drop Shania off to school so I kissed them both then headed off in the opposite direction.

I felt my body tense up as I neared the familiar tall building.

I drove a further block away and parked in a vacant spot.

I collected my bag then climbed out and locked the door.

I took a huge breath then started walking towards work.

The nerves started again and I had to pause a few times to get myself in check.

I finally made it inside the building and once I made it into the elevators I felt myself starting to calm a little.

I don't know what it is but I felt okay once I was on my floor. It was just when I was on the ground level and outside of the building that I started to feel horrible.

I know something was engraved into my brain since my attack and I know that I will feel like this for a long time to come.

I made it to my desk and was a few minutes late. It also was not the first time. Garth has been supportive and understanding and I could see that he was traumatized as well after he had found me.

I settled then booted my computer on and went to make a coffee, when I returned Garth was waiting for me.

"Good morning sir. Do you need something?" I asked.

"No. I just wanted to see how you're doing?"

I gave a small nod. "I'm doing ok Garth. Thank you."

"That's the first time you called me by my name so obviously you're not doing fine."

I slipped into my chair without answering him.

"Look. I'm sorry for overstepping my boundaries, but I found when I started talking to someone, I started to feel better."

I shook my head. "I'd rather not discussed what happened to me here, especially when it happened downstairs. I find it hard as it is without the pitying stares and the whispers."

He nods. "I'm sorry I brought it up. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Thank you Garth, I really am thankful for all you've done. And especially for saving my life."

He gave me a small smile then went back into his office.

I sighed then took the phone off message bank and got on with work.

* * *

I stayed home the next day. I was not up to going in and sent a quick text to Garth telling him I was not feeling well.

Nick didn't know I took today off. He again got Shania ready and took her to school. I changed out of my work clothes and back into my sweats before I climbed back into bed and fell to sleep.

I slept most of the day and got up to shower and change into a pair of skinny jeans and a baby blue sweater.

I sent a text to Nick, letting him know that I was going to pick Shania up from school today.

As I drove back home with my daughter, I couldn't help but wonder if I should just quit and find another job elsewhere.

Maybe I should call Chris and get him to ask around. I'd hate to leave but I think I needed to for my own sanity and my family.

Once home I made us a snack then went out back so Shania could eat and play.

We could hear the little boys from next door playing and Shania kept on going over to the fence and peeking through the gap.

I chuckled quietly then called her over.

"How about we go and introduce ourselves hmm?"

She shook her head. "Nah mommy. Maybe some other time."

"Are you sure baby?"

She nodded then went back to playing.

I was cooking dinner when I felt Nick's arm wrapped around me from behind.

"Some one skipped work today hmm?" He asked.

I stiffened then turned around with guilt written all over my face.

"Hey. It's okay. I'm not mad and you're not a child. If you're not feeling well then don't go."

"I- I. I'm having flash backs from the attack." I stuttered.

"I know baby. And it's gonna take a while until you're back to yourself. But I don't want you holding anything back from me. Okay? I want you to tell me how you're feeling and what you're feeling. I can handle it. We can work this thing out together. I promise."

I turned to shut the stove off then wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry Nick."

"Don't be. I want to help baby."

"I know. I just hate that thought of being a burden to you."

"You're not a burden. It's all part of being in a relationship . I want you to trust that I'll be there for you no matter what."

I nodded as I sunk deeper into his embrace. I had no words. Just the love I have for this amazing man.

If anything were to happen to him. I know I would never be the same again.

I shook that thought off then gave him a kiss.

"I need to get back to dinner."

He nodded then returned my kiss and placed another one on my forehead before leaving me alone with my muddled thoughts.