"If I end up losing my sanity, promise me you'll go to visit me to the madhouse." I muttered to Gabe and took a sip of my coffee. "I've passed the whole 'freaking out' situation. I'm just staying here instead of doing all the things I should be doing."
"I'm impressed. You're handling it pretty well... Everything is going to turn out great."
"Well, years of procrastinating and doing everything at the last minute has leaded me to this numb state so I only want this to end."
Even though in the outside I looked calm, on the inside I was panicking. The show is tomorrow and everything is still unfinished.
"Am, everything is going to be okay. They will love the collection, it's amazing." Gabriel sighed and grabbed my hands, making me look at him.
"Gabe, when have any of our plans worked out, huh? Let's face it, I'm a walking mess."
"So? You are my mess and Dimitri's mess, but we love you no matter what."
"Oh god, don't even start with him." I groaned glancing at the brunet that was preparing the client's orders behind the counter. We hadn't spoken to each other since my birthday and whenever we met we just smiled and made up excuses to not hang out. Yet even though I tried, I couldn't get that cute asshole out of my mind.
You are so screwed up, Amanda.
"I'm offended you don't think I can't see when you're upset." The lanky boy said elbowing me playfully and snapping me of my thoughts. "I know you two kissed."
"Can we ignore this subject? Honestly, that's the last thing I want to talk about, please Gabe."
"I swear to god, I don't get it. It's so obvious you two are into each other, why don't embrace it?" He asked arching his eyebrows. "You liked it, right?"
"It was great." I mumbled, my cheeks burning with shame. "But we can't. I can't and I won't allow anything else to happen."
"Why?"
"Because... I... shit. I don't even know what I'm going to do next year. I was thinking maybe I could go to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising and stay here so that I can help around with the company. The farthest I could would be New York. Look, I need to focus on my future and I don't want to lose my friendship with your brother. What if we get too attached? What if- what if we fell apart? Gabe, I swear I've never been so scared to lose someone in my life. I can't lose him, I just can't lose anyone else again." I explained running out of breath and leaned on his shoulder.
Finally I had said it out loud. I had taken a huge weight off my shoulders, but the pain in my chest was still there. It had been there since the day I argued with my mom and I went to the beach with Dimitri.
My best friend had taken a spot in my heart no other person could even fill, and if he left, then I would not be the same.
"Oh, Am. You won't lose him. My brother cannot live without you, everyone knows it. He loves you."
Even though I wanted to believe Gabe, I knew I couldn't do it. I had to put as much space between us as I could; it was only for the best. I straightened my back and stared into Gabe's brown eyes, trying to make him understand.
"Look there's no way that he could ever fuck someone like me and don't make me begin with... love. He can have whoever he wants. I've seen how girls look at him. How anyone around looks at him. He just shines with his own light. And I am... I am just his friend." I emphasized the last word and continued in a low voice so that no one else could hear but Gabe. "I'm the fat girl that has been eating his muffins since we were kids. I'm not perfect. He cannot like someone like me. He's only doing this because I asked him to, otherwise he could never lay his eyes on me. Yes, we are friends, and yes I know he would do anything for me but this.... This is too much. Eventually he'll get bored or he'll realize he was just horny enough to touch me. Because in this reality, there's no way that someone like him could ever fall for someone like me. Why don't you get it?"
"Why? Because, listen to yourself! Since when do you care about the way you look? The Amanda Ninn I know would hate this attitude." He replied shaking his head. He made a long pause and stared at me, studying my face, after a few seconds he sighed.
"You are a designer. You made a successful collection at only 18 years old. I know you got a scholarship for the best fashion school in the whole world. You're funny and intelligent. Yes, you have to wear a size... what? 16? So what? Your measures don't make you less of a person or determine whether you are lovable enough or not. Dimitri has loved you as a friend since you knew him and yes, maybe it was because of this agreement that he ended up noticing you as a girl and not only as his best friend, so what? My brother is blind when it comes to feelings, trust me, I've dealt with him my entire life. But if this is the only way that you two ended up together then do something! He likes you, I know he does. He has tried so hard to conceal his feelings because of what you may say or how you may react if he actually does something about it." He rushed.
His words reached my heart and I couldn't contain a tear running down my cheek. Gabe wiped it up and kissed my temple. I never knew why did I do to deserve the Constantine as my friends, but I was thankful for them.
"You are an amazing person Amanda." He whispered on my ear. "You just need someone to make you remember it from time to time."
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a/n
Aaaaaaand I'm having Gabriel feelings. THIS GUY IS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM. PLEASE FANGIRL WITH ME...
Okay, I'm gonna calm down. Hope you liked this chapter as much as I did writing it, these characters are really important to me, so give them some love! All the best, Lu.
YOU ARE READING
Fake It
Teen Fiction"Do I have to kiss you?" he simply asks. He drops that bomb like if it was actually necessary. "You already do that." "No, I'm not talking about those sappy kisses on your cheeks, I'm talking about kissing. Kissing you Amanda... Like seriously." ...
