The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 17

"Do you think we're small enough now that the cat could eat us?" Brandon asked.

"Damn it, Scrote, why do you have to say things like that?" Fabian said. "Well, I've battled ferocious ogres and trolls before. I should be able to hold my own against an oversized kitty cat."

A centipede had skittered past them and at their present size it looked like a large python with legs. Fortunately it had shown no interest in them.

Fabian had fashioned a torch out of a broken twig he had found near the entrance to the hole. Its tiny light didn't make much of a dent in the blackness of the hole, but it was certainly better than nothing. He noticed a small tuft of white fur entangled on a long, gnarled root that protruded from the ceiling. "We're on the right track. Let's keep going."

They walked a few minutes further when they saw a glint of light up ahead. "What's that?" Brandon asked.

"That would be that gnome's stupid bracelet," Fabian said as he edged closer. "It's reflecting our own torchlight back at us."

It was currently almost as big as they were. "That thing's going to be a little unwieldy to carry with us, don't you think?"

"You don't say," Fabian sneered. "Let me guess, you got top marks in all of your classes. The other kids bowed before your mighty intellect."

"I did okay, I guess," Brandon shrugged. "I mean, I'd say I was squarely average."

"Never mind, you complete moron," Fabian said. "Under ordinary circumstances I'd figure out a way to pocket that thing for sure. I don't believe that gnome when he says it's not valuable. It's got to be worth something or have some kind of magical properties. But that thing's going to slow us down right now. I say let's move on and find the cat. We'll pick up the bracelet on the way back."

"Did we bring anything with us to lure a cat with?" Brandon asked. "You know, like a little piece of meat, or some catnip or something?"

"No," Fabian said as he studied the ground for any signs of their quarry.

"Gee, you really didn't prepare very well for this expedition, did you?" Brandon said.

"Shut up, Scrote.  I don't need to waste time preparing. I'll rely on my incomparable wit and wisdom to resolve any issues that might arise. And if there's anything physically gruelling or dangerous, I've got you. So I'm plenty prepared, as any fool can plainly see."

They walked on for awhile in silence.

"This is a really long hole," Brandon spoke up. "It seems like we've been going for hours now. What sort of animal do you suppose made it?"

"How the heck should I know?" Fabian said. "Do I look like a zoologist? Why don't you shut your trap unless you've got something useful to say, such as I see the cat right up ahead?"

"You do?" Brandon asked. "Where? I don't see it."

"I don't actually see the cat, you cretin. I was using that as an example of an acceptable thing for you to say,"

"Oh, okay, sir. I think I understand. You have to admit this is a really long hole though."

"I've been inside longer holes," Fabian said. "But yeah, this thing does seem to be extending a mighty long way."

"Do you hear a noise up ahead?" Brandon asked.

Fabian strained his ears. "Maybe a faint rumbling sound or something. Why don't you go on ahead a little bit and see if it's anything dangerous?"

"Okay, sir. May I borrow the torch?"

"No, you may not. You think I'm going to sit here alone in the dark, Scrote? You'd better think again."