The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 68

They had only been running for a few minutes when the wizard Delroy suddenly materialized in front of them. "Did you really think it would be that easy to escape my clutches?"

"I was hoping so," Fabian said. "But if nothing else, Fabian is persistent." He kicked the wizard in the balls again and they took off running once more. A few minutes later the wizard materialized in front of them again.

"Your cheap schoolyard trick will not work a third time, thief," Delroy said. "I have created a magical shield around my testicular area which shall prevent you from delivering any further blows. Now return the princess to me or I shall be forced to destroy you with my magic."

"Never, you horrible wizard," the princess shouted. "This man has rescued me from your clutches and now he will return me to my kingdom and as a reward my father shall give him my hand in marriage."

"Wait a minute, who said anything about marriage?" Fabian said.

"That is the reward my father offers to my savior," the princess said.

"Aw crap," Fabian said. "Well, in that case you can have her back. I thought we were talking strictly a cash reward here. I guess I'll just have to sneak into your dad's castle at night and grab the cat, which is what I wanted to do in the first place until Scrote and Mikey talked me into coming here. What a waste of time this was."

"So you will willingly give me back the princess?" Delroy asked.

"Well, wait a minute here, not so fast," Fabian said. "I certainly don't want to marry this chick, but I feel I should at least get something in return for my troubles. You seem pretty good at kidnapping things. I mean, you already captured the cat once and you stole the princess pretty easily it seems to me. How about you teleport back to Wingwang, grab the cat, bring it back here and I'll trade you the princess for it. Sound like a deal?"

"Agreed," Delroy said as he extended his hand to shake.

Suddenly an arrow whizzed through the air right between them. Jaana emerged from behind a tree with another arrow nocked in her bow and pointed right at them. "There will be no deals today, thief."

"Go away, Jaana," Fabian said. "You're messing this all up for me. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I saw you descend from the tower and take off into the woods and decided to follow you."

"Oh, so you just abandoned all your friends to fight that dragon on their own? Real classy."

"I followed because I didn't trust you, thief. And it seems like my instincts were correct."

"Yeah? Well you think a stupid bow and arrow is going to stop me?" Fabian said as he drew his dagger. "I can rush up and slit your throat before you can let another arrow fly."

"I am the fastest shot in nine kingdoms," Jaana said. "I should like to see you try."

"Oh dear, I do so detest violence," Delroy said as he waved a wand in the air and Fabian, Jaana, and Princess Wartha suddenly found themselves bound together by a magical rope that had appeared out of thin air. "Unless, of course, I'm the one inflicting it. In that case I find violence most entertaining. Now, I believe I shall magically yank all the hairs out of your bodies in the most painful manner possible. After that the real fun will begin."

The wizard waved the wand again and chanted something as he clenched his other hand in a fist. Fabian felt a corresponding pain shoot through his gut. He let out a cry of anguish in spite of himself. Jaana let out a similar scream as blood began dripping out of her nose.