The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 46

Fabian took off down the trail at a brisk jog without looking back over his shoulder. After a few minutes he heard the sound of galloping horse hooves and saw Rothchild coming down the path behind him with Sir Mikael, Derek, and Brandon all squeezed on.

"What is the meaning of this?" Sir Mikael asked. "We're all exhausted. Why are we fleeing from that nice woman's Inn?"

"Hey, that's no nice woman you're talking about there. She's a murderous psycho bitch. I was just relaxing in my tub and she tried to slit my throat for no reason whatsoever. She's batshit crazy, I tell you."

"She seemed like a lovely woman to me," Derek said. "I just don't understand why she would suddenly try to kill you."

"I understand," Druvidia said as she suddenly materialized next to them. "He sucks. Who wouldn't want to kill him?"

"The literal legions of innocent lives I've saved through my daring heroics, that's who," Fabian said. "I don't recall anyone asking your opinion anyway. Come to think of it, you're kind of a murderous psycho bitch yourself. Do you murderous psycho bitches stick together or something?"

"Now, now, there's no need for that kind of raw language," Sir Mikael said. "We're all friends here. If Sir Fabian says that Madge attacked him for no reason, well, I believe him because I believe that deep down he's a good person who wouldn't lie to his friends."

Fabian had to try very hard to stifle a laugh. "You are correct, good sir. I would certainly never lie to my friends." Even saying that with a straight face was proving very difficult to pull off.

"We need to find a safe place to rest," Sir Mikael said. "The fatigue of last night's battle is weighing us all down. I don't believe young Brandon here has even completely woken up."

"I feel pretty refreshed," Fabian said. "It's like the middle of the day. We're wasting good daylight hours here because you guys are a bunch of wusses who can't handle a simple little battle. But if you insist on stopping and making camp for a while, I suppose I won't stop you. I'm a generous, thoughtful guy like that who's always considerate of his traveling companions and puts their needs first."

"Well, since you're feeling so chipper, you can take watch while the rest of us sleep for a few hours," Sir Mikael said. "We should have a nice bright moon this evening. We can travel at night."

"Uh, sure, I'll keep watch," Fabian said while already planning on finding a nice comfortable spot to take a little snooze. If they were all sleeping they wouldn't know he was napping himself.

"Good, I will keep you company," Druvidia said.

"Thanks, but no thanks. Your company is not required or wanted. Tell me again why you can't just keep watch by yourself while the rest of us get some shut eye, seeing as how you're a tree spirit who doesn't require sleep?"

"I offered before but you said you didn't trust me with your life. And now? Eh, I don't particularly want to," she said with a shrug. "Especially when I can make sure you stay awake and keep watch."

"Jeez, lady, I'll stay awake. I told you I feel refreshed. I just don't want you hanging around while I'm keeping a watchful eye over my cherished traveling companions because, quite frankly, you bug me. And you just said not five minutes ago that you wanted to kill me."

"I said no such thing," Druvidia sniffed. "I just said I can understand the desire to kill you."

"That's pretty much the exact same thing!" Fabian said. "Did you all hear that guys? This vengeful tree ghost is threatening me!"

Sir Mikael rubbed his forehead in an effort to mitigate a quickly building headache. "Can we please stop with the bickering? I'm extremely tired. Druvidia, I thank you for your concern, but Sir Fabian can keep watch over us without supervision from you. I strongly feel that to have a good relationship with one's traveling comrades it is important to have a sense of trust. This will be a fine opportunity for Sir Fabian to live up to that trust. Now, I see a clearing up ahead a little ways that should make a perfectly acceptable campsite. Let's get some well deserved rest."