The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 41

Fabian woke up to the sound of laughter nearby. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and smacked his lips. His belly let out a loud rumble. Something smelled quite scrumptious. He walked towards the source of the smell and found Derek, Brandon, and Sir Mikael sitting around a campfire laughing heartily as they ate some sort of meat. Druvidia hovered next to them with a big smile on her face, although she didn't partake in the food.

"Hey guys, what's cooking?" he asked as he rubbed his tummy.

"I caught a nice plump dwarf pheasant early this morning," Sir Mikael said. "It was delicious."

"What do you mean 'was' delicious?" Fabian asked.

"I'm sorry, it was so tasty we ate most of it," Derek said. "Here, the gizzard is still left. You can have that."

"I thought I told you to wake me up once breakfast was ready," Fabian said. "What the hell are you guys doing eating without me? This is coming out of all of your shares of any treasure we find. Since Derek is already giving me all of his treasure, you two are going to have to give me even more to make up for his share."

"We're sorry, sir," Brandon said. "We meant to wake you, but we started eating and it was so good and we were having so much fun talking that we just sort of forgot."

"You forgot?" Fabian sputtered. "I am the great and legendary Fabian. Nobody forgets me."

"Sorry, Fabian," Sir Mikael said. "We truly did not mean to forget you. You just slipped our minds."

"Well, I'm afraid you're just going to have to go hunt something else for me then," Fabian said. "That's all there is to it. Now chop chop. Get going. I'll wait."

"Very well," Sir Mikael said. "I shall see what I can find." He stood up from the campfire and walked off into the woods. He returned a few minutes later with a filthy looking pigeon. "Here you go."

"What the hell is this?" Fabian asked.

"It's a pigeon."

"I can see that. It looks like it's got about twenty or so diseases. Where's the pheasant like you guys had?"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find any pheasants right now. This was the best I could do under the circumstances. You should have gotten up when the rest of us did."

Fabian stared at Sir Mikael. "You're starting to tread on thin ice, mister. You'd better watch yourself if you want me to continue to allow you to assist us in our quest. Now Scrote, why don't you make yourself useful and pluck all the feathers off this thing and cook it for me? I think I might go catch a little more shut eye. Wake me up when it's ready."

"Yes, sir," Brandon said as he began to prepare the pigeon.

"Bunch of ingrates," Fabian muttered to himself as he laid back down and made himself comfortable. "This better be a tasty pigeon or I might have to hurt somebody." He closed his eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

He was awakened a short time later by Brandon shaking him. "Sir, wake up. Your pigeon's ready. I'm afraid I might have overcooked it a little." He shoved a charred, rubbery piece of meat at Fabian.

"Are you fucking with me, Scrote?" Fabian asked. "You'd better not be fucking with me."

"I'm sorry, sir. It was an accident. I guess I don't really know how to properly cook pigeon. I kind of set it on fire."

"I noticed. You're lucky I'm famished or I'd send you out to hunt something else. As it is dinner better be phenomenal or I might have to cut you up. Consider this a fair warning." He quickly devoured the burnt pigeon and let out a loud belch.