The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 67

Fabian kicked the wizard right in the balls and grabbed the princess by her wrist and pulled her out of the cage while Delroy was doubled over in pain. "Come on, Scrote! We need to get out of here now!"

Brandon gulped down the rest of his tea and jumped out of his chair. "Is there any other way out of this tower, sir? Because it seems like a mighty long fall if we head out the way we came in."

"I don't see any staircases around here, do you? Plus there weren't any doors at the bottom of the tower. It looks like you guys are going to have to learn how to climb down a rock wall in a major hurry."

"I can't climb," the princess said. "That would ruin my nails. You're going to have to carry me."

"How the hell am I supposed to climb if my hands are tied up holding you?"

"Well, then I'm just going to have to jump onto your back and cling onto you," she said and proceeded to mount Fabian like a horse.

"Jeez, lady, are you carrying bricks in your pocket? I thought princesses were supposed to be petite. You might want to seriously consider going on a diet after this."

"You might want to seriously consider lifting some weights, weakling," the princess said. "Now get me out of here."

Fabian made his way to the window and lowered himself over the edge. The princess squeezed tighter on his neck.

"You're choking me lady," he managed to croak. "Wrap your arms around my chest."

The princess readjusted herself and Fabian was able to breathe again although it felt like his fingers were going to lose their grip at any moment. And then a fireball came flying over his head. It seemed as if Delroy had recovered from the assault on his family jewels.

"Scrote! Keep the wizard occupied while I get the princess to safety!"

"You got it, sir," Brandon said as he started grabbing items off of the shelves and throwing them at Delroy. The wizard turned his attention to Brandon and began using magic to deflect the objects that were flying at him. Then he started flinging fireballs at Brandon who managed to jump out of the way. He hurried over and ducked behind the mime statue. Delroy stopped flinging fireballs with a worried look on his face. He seemed very hesitant to risk damaging his mime statue.

Fabian took advantage of the distraction to scramble down the tower with the princess wrapped tightly around his back. He made it about three quarters of the way down before his grip gave out. They tumbled to the ground below and landed in a heap. Fabian took the brunt of the fall and managed to cushion the blow for the princess. That had certainly not been his intention, as he had been trying to position himself to land on her, but it seemed she'd had the same idea and managed to emerge on top. He had the wind solidly knocked out of him, but was pretty sure nothing was broken. The princess in the meanwhile, didn't appear to have even suffered a scratch.

Fabian looked around. Brandon was still up in the tower battling the wizard and everyone else was occupied with the dragon, who was now down to five heads.

"If I get you back to your daddy by myself that means I don't have to split the reward with anyone. Plus, I can collect the cat and get the reward money for it, too. Come on, princess. We're blowing this dive." He grabbed her by the wrist and took off running towards the trees.