The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 18

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Fabian shouted. "We're not thieves. We're spelunking enthusiasts. We were just exploring this little cave we found and we ended up here. I demand that you release us immediately!"

A grizzled dwarf with a long red beard squinted at them for a long moment. "I don't believe you. You're thieves, come to steal our emeralds and rubies."

"Oh, is that what those things are?" Fabian asked. "I thought you guys just had good decorating sense and made the walls all sparkly and pretty."

"I say we throw them into the forge and melt them down," called out another dwarf.

"I don't know," the grizzled dwarf said. "Should we kill them or put them to work in the mine?"

"I think we should let them go," Fabian attempted to throw his voice so it would appear that one of the dwarfs had suggested this. He had found that ventriloquism was often a useful skill to have.

"No, I think we'll be throwing them in the rat cage while we figure out what to do with them," the dwarf leader said.

"Uh, what's the rat cage?" Fabian asked. "That really doesn't sound like a good thing."

"Oh, it's just a little contraption we built to contain any rats we happen across down here. You two fellows are just about small enough to fit in there."

"You guys don't have any rats in there at the moment, do you?" Fabian asked. "Because that would not be cool."

"It's empty right now. But don't worry, maybe we can find a rodent friend to join you soon," the dwarf laughed as he shook them out of the net and into a cage. The door locked behind them with a loud clacking sound.

"You might be out of luck," another dwarf said. "The rat population might have been cleared out by that cat that was down here."

"Cat?" Brandon's ears perked up. "What do you guys know about a cat? We're looking for a cat!"

"A likely story," the grizzled dwarf scowled. "I know a thief when I see one. You've come to steal our gems. If you admit it, I might be inclined to go easy on you."

"All right, I'll tell you the truth," Fabian said. "It was all his idea." He pointed at Brandon.

"What?" Brandon sputtered.

"I was out for an innocent stroll by myself through the woods when I was kidnapped at knifepoint by this hooligan here. He forced me to come in here with him to help him execute his plan to rob those stupid ugly dwarfs blind. Those are his words, by the way, not mine."

"That's not true," Brandon said. "We're on a quest to find a cat. A big white fluffy cat named Oogums. Have you seen it?"

"It was a big white fluffy cat," a dwarf with a blond beard said. "It even looked like an Oogums. Maybe he's telling the truth."

"Maybe he is," the dwarf leader said. "Or maybe they were casing the joint before they pulled off their heist and they saw the cat. It doesn't matter anyway. The cat's not here. Thark took it home with him at the end of his shift. He thought his wife might like to keep it as a pet."

"Then you must tell us where this Thark lives," Brandon said. "Please. We have been entrusted to return the cat to its rightful owner."

"I'll be telling you no such thing," the dwarf said. "Besides, the cat is already with its rightful owner. Thark's wife." The dwarfs burst out in a round of laughter after this last comment.

"Well then please let us go," Brandon said. "You can plainly see we're not here to rob from you. We're much too small to carry many gems with us anyway."

"They're the right size to mine gems from some of those hard to reach cracks and crevasses," a black bearded dwarf shouted out. "I say put them to work!"

"I'm sticking to my story," Fabian said. "I'm completely innocent. I've never stolen anything in my life. As for jewelry, I know absolutely nothing. I wouldn't know the difference between an emerald and a worthless hunk of granite. So I would make an absolutely terrible miner. You'd be wasting more time sifting through my basket to find anything worthwhile than you'd be saving by putting me to work. Scrote here looks like he has a strong back, though. If you want to make him swing a pickaxe for you, I wouldn't have any objections."

"So you're admitting to being worthless," the grizzled dwarf said. "That's even worse than being a thief. At least some thieves have a solid work ethic. You disgust me, little man." The dwarf spat in the dirt.

"Hey boss," the dwarf with the blond beard called out. "I found another rat over here. It's a big nasty looking fellow. I think he might be foaming at the mouth."

"Well, isn't that nice?" the lead dwarf said. "Looks like you boys are about to get some company in there. Should be a nice and cozy fit. Grab the tongs and get that vermin over here!"