Thin Skinned [Boy x Boy]

Chapter 12

Cuts P.O.V

I am shocked to hear such news. Such amazing news. I never thought that Horn and I would be able to have our own child. This is the best news I have ever gotten from a doctor. Unfortunately, just when I thought we might be happy, the bad news had to come out. 

"But," Dr. Ginnings says with a tone full of sorrow, "I don't recommend that you carry this child to term."

My heart instantly drops to my stomach. I want this so badly. I don't know if I could ever bring myself not to carry a child. I may never get this opportunity again. Testosterone will make changes to my body once I finally manage to get it.

"Why not?" I ask quickly, glancing at Horn to see his reaction.

His face shows concern and worry. He wanted this too. I know he did. We both wanted this.

"Your skin is simply too thin. It could easily split during your pregnancy and cause a serious infection. It could kill you and the child if not treated." She busies herself with checking my vitals. "Your immune system is also very weak and being pregnant only weakens it further." She makes a few notes on her clipboard. "If you did manage to carry to full term you would have to have a c-section. Your medical history indicates your fragile body. Not to mention, your dermatillomania would cause you to pick at your wound. You could die of infection if you managed to open it."

I know that this isn't easy news for her to deliver. The regret in her eyes is obvious to see.

I bite my lip softly and dig my fingers into the blanket that is draped over my waist. My heart aches and my eyes burn.

"So, what you're saying is, I have to have an abortion?" I ask, feeling hot tears slowly travel down my face.

She clears her throat softly. "You don't have to, but it would be wise. This would be a very risky thing to put your body through."

With that, I have made my decision. I don't care if it's high risk or not. I want this. I can't bring myself to get an abortion.

"You have time to decide, but I suggest you do so quickly," Dr. Ginnings says.

I nod, already knowing my decision. Hopefully, Horn will feel the same.

Later, I am released from the hospital on the account that there is technically nothing actually wrong with me. I'm not dying and I'm not ill. I'm pregnant.

Horn and I don't talk at all on the ride home. I begin to worry about his feelings in this situation. I hope he will be happy, but I'm not too sure. The silence doesn't help.

We walk up to our apartment in more eerie silence. I desperately want Horn to say something. His lack of dialogue worries me.

"Are you okay?" I ask softly while sitting on the couch.

Horn sighs and rubs his temples gently. I feel myself worrying more and more as time goes on and I'm fairly certain that it can't be good for me.

"I'm worried about you, Cuts," he says while sitting next to me.

"Why? I'm okay," I reassure him.

"No, you aren't. You heard what the doctor said. You could die if you do this. I want to have a family with you, but not if it means you could die," he says while putting his hand on my shoulder.

I push him off in disgust. Out of all people, I thought Horn would be on my side. I thought that he would be happy. I thought that he would want this. That he would look past the risks and be as happy as I am.

"I'm not going to have an abortion," I snap hastily.

"I don't want you to have one either, but I really think it's for the best. There are so many risks. I don't want to lose you," he tells me.

I would be happy that Horn doesn't want to lose me, but not in a situation like this. I can't believe him of all people would encourage me to have an abortion. The one person that I actually wanted to support me, doesn't.

I get up out of frustration and cross my arms across my chest. I pace the room a few times and sigh. I just feel so angry.

"I can't believe you. I thought you would be happy. This is what we wanted. Now you're telling me to get an abortion too," I say as tears roll down my cheeks.

Horn stands up and tries to hug me but I push him away. I don't want him to touch me right now. I'm too upset.

"Cuts, Honey, please," he says softly.

"Leave me alone," I say coldly.

I lay down in bed and wrap myself in several blankets. I'm no longer in the mood to talk. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Horn walk out onto the balcony and light a joint.

He's stressing too. I wish he understood how much this means to me. He knows how badly I want this. Even if the timing isn't the best, I'm willing to do it. I'm willing to put myself through the pain, the dysphoria, everything.

I watch him lean over the rail and blow out a big puff of smoke. I sigh softly and turn my back to him. I wish he would stop smoking pot. He's going to have to since we're having a baby.

Even with all the risks, I still want to have this baby. Horn and I both want a family. I'm willing to go through with this and he should be too. I know I'll be okay. I'll take care of myself to make sure my skin doesn't split. Horn will make sure I don't pick at my wound.

I hug a pillow tightly and let out a shaky sigh. Horn and I will make up. He'll come back inside and lay with me and we'll talk things out. Things will be okay between us just like they always have been. Tension is high right now but it'll settle. We'll be happy again.