Thin Skinned [Boy x Boy]

Chapter 34

Cuts P.O.V

I turn my back to Horn and pull the covers up. I'm angry and terrified. It's too late for Horn to say he doesn't want me anymore, but I don't want to force him to stay and make him miserable.

Just the thought of Horn leaving me makes me nauseous. I can't picture raising a child without him. This is his child too. It would kill me if he left me for someone else.

I want to be angry, but in reality, I'm petrified. I don't want to lose the one person who actually keeps me going. I was so close to giving up before Horn and I got together. He gave me a reason to keep trying instead of giving up.

"Cuts, Baby, you know I would never cheat on you," Horn says while sitting on the edge of the bed.

I can't bring myself to look at him. The possibility that he could be lying is too much to bear. It hurts me, in all ways possible; emotionally because I love Horn with all my heart; mentally because he is one of my only support systems; physically, I'm aching.

"Do I? Because you coming home with bright red lipstick smeared on your mouth says otherwise!" I'm trying to hide the pain in my voice but it isn't working.

My eyes sting with burning hot tears. I don't want to cry, but I can't stop myself. Controlling my emotions is much more difficult now. Hormones make things a lot more difficult.

"I didn't cheat on you. One of the artists got drunk and kissed me," Horn explains.

A part of me wants to believe him; for this whole thing to be over so we can go to bed and rest. The other part, however, sees that as an easy excuse and refuses to trust something so simple.

"Sure," I mutter.

"Cuts, please, don't be that way," he says softly, pulling me closer.

The only reason I allow this is because the baby is kicking me like a soccer ball and they usually calm down around Horn.

"How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Why wouldn't you believe me?" he asks in a bit of confusion.

"You've been getting into trouble ever since you started working at that tattoo shop. You're always staying out late or coming home drunk. Now you're coming home with lipstick on you," I snap, crossing my arms.

Horn sighs and rests his chin on my shoulder. He knows I'm right. He stays after his shift a lot of the time, even if he doesn't realize it.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop staying after work. I'll come straight home. I'd rather spend my time with you anyway," Horn says, kissing my cheek.

Even when I want to be happy, I'm still a mix of strong emotions. I'm still angry about the lipstick. I'm still scared that Horn may abandon me with a child. Those emotions won't just go away.

"You have a funny way of showing it," I mumble softly.

"You're upset and stressed. You should rest," Horn says softly while laying back with me.

I am tired. I'm emotionally exhausted. My stomach hurts from crying and I want to sleep away these unwanted emotions.

I sigh softly and lean into Horn. He holds me close to him and massages my stomach gently. The baby's kicking eases slightly, but not much.

"They're really kicking," Horn says with a soft laugh.

"I feel like a soccer ball," I mumble.

"She just wants to let you know she's there."

"Babe!" I snap.

Horn looks confused at first until realizing that he accidentally revealed the sex of our child. I specifically did not want to know, but now it's too late.

"Sorry!" he says quickly.

I huff softly before sitting up and hitting his arm. The one thing I didn't want to know has just been revealed. We're having a daughter.

The sex of our child doesn't matter to me as long as they're happy and healthy. Although, I would have preferred to wait until she was born to know.

A soft sigh escapes my lips before I lean back into Horn.

"I'm sorry, it slipped," he says softly while kissing my neck.

"It's okay."

In all honesty, I'm happy to have a daughter. The experience will be so unfamiliar for both of us. Maybe not for Horn, because I'm fairly certain he had a little sister he used to care for, but certainly for me. I've never been too good with girls. Never dated, or even came close to talking to one. I don't even understand my biologically female body. Everything feels like a puzzle with a million pieces.

Raising our daughter will be quite the experience. I don't want to enforce gender roles on her, but society certainly will. It's inevitable, I know, but we'll give her options.

Exhaustion slowly takes over my body as I begin to fall asleep. I'm tired and need to rest. Getting worked up isn't good for anyone this late in my pregnancy.

A few times I feel a small pain in my abdomen. At first, it feels like a sharp kick, but each time it gets more painful than before. Eventually, the pain becomes too much and I'm forced awake.

"Are you okay?" Horn sits up, noticing I'm awake. "What's wrong?"

Another sharp pain comes, nearly knocking the wind out of me. It doesn't take me long to realize what this pain is; contractions. Horn, however, isn't so quick to realize.

"I'm in labor," I manage to choke out in between my waves of pain.

The color quickly drains from Horn's face as he hears this. He quickly gets out of bed and gets dressed as fast as he can before helping me up.

Horn is nowhere close to calm, but at least he isn't panicking. I, on the other hand, am terrified, though I'm in too much pain to show it.

Unfortunately, because I've gone into labor eight weeks early, we aren't as nearly as prepared as we should be. Although, my main focus is getting to the hospital, as much as I hate the thought of going. This is the only time I will ever willingly go to a hospital.