Are You Still There?

Chapter 23

* Chapter 23: Ticket to Ride *

Mimi had called my mother and let her know what was going and that I wouldn't be at home until late tomorrow. She completely understood and knew the difficulty of loosing someone dear. So she let me be excused from classes as well.
John still had his arms wrapped around my waist, molding our bodies so there were no gaps. "Lucy, are you still there?" He asked. Obviously, I was physically there, but mentally. I was here, there, and everywhere. My mind wrapped itself around the fact that John had asked me that. Instead I kissed his cheek. "Yes, I will always be here." He sighed a smile and kissed my lips softly.
He sat up and looked around, "Lucy, shouldn't you have left earlier? Your parents must be worried." He asked. "Mimi spoke to my mum, she said it'd be alright and that I can stay with you today." I smiled as I got up as well. He smiled back.
John's smile was usually filled with light, but now it was masked with light. His smile now was hiding the dark. The pain. I tried to push those thoughts out of my mind.
"John?! I have to leave for work. Call me if you need anything." Mimi called from downstairs. Her voice was now calm and collected which was surprising to me. He rolled his eyes, "Yes ma'm." John shouted agitated with her calmness.
The door opened and shut briefly. John turned to me and smiled. Now this smile had light, it was a small light. "Well what do you want to do now?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows comically. "Whatever you want to do." I smiled widely.
Suddenly I felt his lips crash onto mine which formed a sloppy kiss. I think it was intended to be passionate but I wasn't going to argue with myself about it. I kissed him back, letting his arms pull me up onto his lap. He moved his lips from mine to my lower neck, hitting a spot that sent chills throughout my body.
"John?" I moaned softly. He hummed against my neck, "What? You like this?" His humming and his low voice sent chills throughout my body. "No, well yes, but how can you do this?" I asked.
I felt his lips continue to kiss me but more urgently. I could feel that he knew what I meant. "I'm trying to forget.. Now are you going to help me or not?" John spoke lowly, a sly smirk written over his face. I smiled unsurely but continued to let his send butterfly kisses through out my body.
John was good. I mean good. But now, he seemed to have a different emotion. Maybe I was overthinking this, given what just happened. But John seemed to not do this act for love, or lust. He looked as if he were doing this to shield his pain. His heartache. I pushed these thoughts out of my head, they could come back later, but I just needed to be able to enjoy myself.
"Tease! John please." I moaned as John chuckled at my comment. "Hold on, Patience is key." He winked....

**********

We laid there, him still on top, his weight making my breath even more uneven.
"Thank you." John said as he kissed my cheek heavily. I turned to face him, "John, can I ask you something?" He smiled tiredly towards me. "It's just that.. Well how are you able to do that after what happened?" I asked unsurely.
"Well, I need to do it, so I can forget. I don't know, I just need to do anything to forget it." John shrugged. "Well, what did you do when your uncle died?" I asked.
John shifted uncomfortably, still holding me in his arms. "I um, did this, and drank. Look, I'm not proud of what I've done or what I do. But, this is who I am, and how I cope. Now, can we forget about this? I really don't want to talk about this, it just makes me feel worse." John spoke hoarsely. I nodded and kissed him, "I'm only trying to understand you so I can help." I replied. "Well, you can help by being you. Right now, I just need you to be you." he smiled. I nodded reassuringly, "Don't worry. I'll be me." John smiled back and kissed me.
This time, the kiss wasn't needed. But wanted. This time, the kiss wasn't forced. But it came natural. This time, the kiss was out of Love..