Are You Still There?

Chapter 24

* Chapter 24: Tomorrow Never Knows *

John and I spent the day watching movies, listening to music, and talking. It was nice. It wasn't forced, it just came natural.

"John are you going to school tomorrow?" I asked. He turned to me, furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm not sure, I guess we won't know." He replied, almost emotionless. "Well, if you go to school then we will." I wink chuckling. He laughs with me, "Do you have an answer to everything?" "Yes, I do actually." I say still laughing.

We were sitting on the couch, not really paying attention to the Telly that was in front of us. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, "What time is it?" I asked. John turned to see his wrist watch, "Almost 4"

I had to leave soon, but I could wait. I kissed him lightly. "I have an Idea." I smiled widely.

He turned to face me instantly. John had a goofy grin on his face, I slapped his shoulder. "No not that you wanker! I mean, when I was little, back in London my best friends and I would go around and tell secrets. We wouldn't tell anyone else outside of the circle." John raised his eyebrow, "What's the point in that?"

"Well, we can get to know each other a bit more." I said. "Here, I'll go first. When I first drank beer, I was so scared that my parents would find out that I actually cried when I was drinking." I laughed. He chuckled, "Ok, well, I want to move out of this hell hole." John chuckled as he pointed around Mimi's home. I raised my eyebrow, "Why? Don't you love Mimi?" I asked. "Well, Yeah, but I also love being on my own. I want to take care of myself, which I pretty much do since Mimi is always out of the house." John explained. I nodded, "Oh ok. Um, let's see, what's a good secret. Ah! I thought you actually liked Loretta a bit after we met, and I got kinda jealous." I scrunched my nose. "Really? I thought you liked Paul." He chuckled. "No! Paul is just a friend. He's too soft around me." I smiled. "Oh so you like them hard?" John asked suggestively.

I began to laugh, "Why yes, yes I do." We laughed for what seemed for ages. "Ok your turn." John said still laughing quietly. "Well, before we started dating, way before we started dating, I had a small crush on Stu." I blushed. "I knew it!" John said as his grin went into a faint smile. "Don't worry it was only for a few days." I reassure him. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Alright well, I think about death.. Like a lot." He shrugged. "Why?" I asked.

"I don't know, I mean what happens when you, you leave?" I sat up straighter, "Huh, I don't know."

What did happen when we're gone, is it just sky that's above us? Is it just dirt that's below us? Or maybe there was something above us, and below. If there was something, then I'd be down there.

But instead of saying all this, I simply nodded. "Well, I'll tell you something now. I'm scared that you'll leave me." I said softly. John laughed. "What?" I raised my voice. "Why would you think that I would leave you? I'm scared that you'll leave me! Lucy, I love you. I'm not going anywhere!" John smiled as he leaned over and kissed me softly. "I'm never leaving you." John whispered into my ear.

We shared a few more secrets before I had to leave. It was almost 6 when I did. Surprisingly enough, John did really seem better. Not better in the sense that everything was fine, but he seemed a bit better.

"How is everything with John?" My mother asked as I walked in. "He's hanging in there. John isn't the same right now, given what happened. And I understand, I just don't think it'll be the same now that he's missing his mother." I replied as I tried to run upstairs. My mother nodded as she noticed my urgency to get upstairs.

I ran up the stairs and headed over to take a shower.

I stepped in and let the water trickle down my body. John's secret about him questioning death was a lot. Not in the sense that it was a basic nor complex secret. It just made me wonder.

What was death like? Why would he think about it?

Death was a passage, in my mind. It was a transition from one point in our life to another part, we just don't know it.

But another thing that I began to think about was what John said earlier when I asked him how he could do certain things after his mother died.

He drank and slept with people.. How would his mother's death take it's toll? Would it affect us?

What will happen to us now?