That's my girl

Chapter 26

Lauren stood inches from Camila. The sound of the rain beating against the window, the thunder rumbling overhead, lightening striking every few moments all seemed to disappear in the girls minds as they stood staring at one another, hearing nothing but their own heart beats. 

Lauren was growing scared that she had spoke to soon and perhaps should have told Camila she loved her yes, but wasn't in love with her yet. But she was in love with her and Lauren couldn't hold it back anymore. Camila on the other hand was stood just staring at the woman in front of her. She wanted to believe Lauren was in love with her but she found it difficult to allow herself to believe after everything she has done to Lauren, all the hurt and anger she has caused her, that she could possibly love her. 

"How do you know?" Camila asked scared. She kept her eyes on Lauren and fought back the tears that were beginning to surface. Lauren tilted her head and let out a deep breath

"Why don't we get out of these wet clothes and then we an talk? You're shivering" Lauren reached out to touch Camila's arm, but Camila stepped back before she could and shook her head. 

"No, no more stalling Lauren...Please" Her voice was soft and pleading. Lauren walked to her bag and pulled out a jacket and t-shirt before walking back to were Camila stood, arms hugging herself tightly. She stretched out her arm to hand Camila the jacket 

"At least put the jacket on" Camila rolled her eyes but took the jacket and pulled it on quickly trying to gain any warmth from it. Lauren put the t-shirt she retrieved from the bag on and then sat down were she stood. 

"Do you remember when we were in Mexico and I was freaking out back stage because people were trying to break down the barrier to get to us?" 

Camila nodded and laughed lightly "How could i forget, It was kind of terrifying" Camila lowered herself slowly, taking a seat on the ground. 

"Do you remember what you said to me?" Lauren didn't lift her head to look at Camila, so she didn't know her response so she just continued anyway "You took me to back of the dressing room and you whispered to me 'As long as i am with you, you have no reason to be afraid'" 

Camila kept her gaze on Lauren, willing her too look up Lauren never did. 

"I could tell you were just as scared as i was, possibly more but in that moment you cared more about making me feel safe than you did yourself. That one sentence stuck with me all these years. As soon as you said it, it was like a wave of peace came over me, i knew everything was going to be okay." 

Lauren finally looked up to Camila and gave her small smile before ducking her head again and inhaling sharply

"So, throughout all the tours, all the parties, all the media throwing shade at us, i would look at you and i would repeat those words in my head 'As long as i am with you, you have no reason to be afraid' and i would feel okay again...but then you left" Camila ducked her head as the shame and guilt crashed down on her 

"You left and it was like i was terrified all the time, because without you around i didn't feel safe anymore. To be honest, sometimes i didn't safe in my own thoughts...Everything around me was falling apart. You left me, you left the band, the girls were fighting all the time because they were scared, i would call home and my parents would just ramble on about how i needed to pick myself up and move on and be the woman i was destined to be. I had no one to turn to, Lucy only cared about herself, Taylor has her own shit going on and well Chris, hes just Chris" Lauren laughed slightly through the tears that were now coming at a steady rate. 

"But anyway back to the point, These past few days with you, i feel like i found myself again. You make me laugh when I don't even know what for, you goofy smile makes me smile even when i am mad with you, you look at me with such intensity and make me feel like i am the only girl in the world, you touch me with the lightest of touch and my whole body feels likes it on fire, you make me so fucking angry at times, but then one minute later i can be the happiest i have ever been...I dont quite understand it but what i do understand is Love is something unique to each person, it isn't something you can describe it just there, when you feel it you know its there and when i look at you Camila, i can feel it"