Me: *Playing on my phone on my bed*
Jared, Evan, Connor: *Sneaks into my room* SURPRISE!! HAPPY-
Me: . . . No.
Evan: *Holding a tyedye frosted cake.that has those number shaped candles. A 1 and a 5 next to eachother.* W-What?
Connor: *Is wearing one of those cone hats that says, "Happy birthday!!" They forced me to wear THIS. You'll enjoy your birthday and like it!
Me: *Picks up the 5, not caring that it's lit up. Crushes.* I don't want to be 15, leave me alone, please.
Evan, Connor, Jared: *Looks at eachother. Connor and Jared slowly leaves.*
Evan: I-I'll just leave this here for you. *Gently places the cake on the floor. Leaves.*
Me: . . . *lays down, face in my pillow. Sighs starts crying.*
Jared: *Outside my door. Whispers.* Dude, da heck was that?! Jay loves their b-day!
Connor: *Shrugs.* I don't know, you're their boyfriend-
Jared: No I'm not!
Connor: Tha-
Evan: Guys?-
Connor and Jared: *Starts silently fighting.*
Me: *Sniffles. Looks over at cake. Sighs. Sits up and pulls the cake up next to me. Blows out the #1 candle. Scoops a bit of the frosting onto my finger and eats it. Notices the cake is my favorite, red velvet.* . . . *Smiles.*
Jared:. . . . . . . *Slowly enters my room.* . . .. Hey. See you like your cake. A-Are you okay? *Sits next to me.*
Me: . . . . Y-Yes? . . . N-No. *Doesn't look at him.* Jared, I'm FIFTEEN! Fifteen! All of my best friends- *Motions towards online friends.* Are younger than me- I think.
Jared: Why does it matter?
Me: Because it does.
Jared: How-
Me: I'm gonna say this quickly because this story's supposed to be funny- *Takes deep breath.* ONEOFMYFRIENDS,ALEX,DECIDEDSHEDIDN'TWANTTOBEFRIENDSWITHAGIRLSHE'SKNOWNFOR5YEARSJUSTBECAUSETHEGIRLTURNED18ANDALEXWAS"Uncomfortable"WITHBEINGFRIENDSWITHHER. Jared, I don't want to end up like that! I care about them too much!
Jared: They won't-
Me: Gah! I'M SPEEDING THIS UP SO THIS BOOK STAYS HUMOROUS! *Presses fast foward on a T.V. remote. Mine and Jared's speech speeds up, we cound like chipmunks. At somepoint I hit play.*
Jared: Great. Now let's get the other's and cut into this cake!
Me: *Glares at cake.* . . . I guess.
YOU ARE READING
Ask or Dare the Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman
HumorJared: Ughhhhh I don't wanna do this! Me: Too bad! It'll be funnnnn! Jared: No it won't. I've seen Connor's ask or dare book. It doesn't look or sound fun.
