altercation of self-actualization《poetry

t h e c l o s u r e o f a g o o d b y e

for the day that the rain

smelt deeply of cotton candy

was the day i played

a song that fed my goodbye.

for the night that tunred to dawn

i did not sleep i lay awoken

by thorns of tomorrows regrets

and yesterdays laughter

crawling away from the days

that we hid from the sober rain

for the hope to keep our highs

only a 'lil longer.

the days of rolled promises

of sitting in your exes home

i never felt comfortable

sitting on corners of the unmade

bed that layed on broken floor

boards punched walls

and a family so blended

they no longer knew where

they came from.

but you were so in love

i never spoke a word of

how i didnt want to be there

and why we didnt

just meet him under

the pine trees at the old benches

of stoner park.

where our empty bottles

of drinks from many moons ago

reside.

i hardly wanted to be the one

to make a scene from

nothing more then the itch

in my subconcious.

for the afternoons on old

swing sets my mind hazy

like the air in the morning.

before i smoked tobacco sticks

and lost my brush of innocence.

for the afterschool texts

of hows it going even tho i saw

you less then forty minutes ago

my eyes back then brimmed of

tears for diffrent reasons.

for the may that brought

forth my rebellion.

the dirt road where my bike

was rode in ditches deeper

then her lies at the time.

it was the day my first tree had

been plant.

it was a pretty one at that

tiny and precious

just like you and i use to be.

but the tree grew like us

branches swung in diffrent places

i had yet to adventure to.

the day that the rain smelt

deeply of cotton candy

i never did get to say good bye.

prehaps someway somehow

this is my way of saying goodbye

a piece of writting that will never

glimps your eye.

i would send stay safe

i love you.

but now if i did i would be

you, a liar.

letting go of anger is hard

especially if you undermind

your anger issues with passiveness

like i do.

but this is the last thing i write

to or for you.

cause your the toxins in my

recovery and if i want to recover

i need to lose the silent killer

to me.

the past drug of summer eves

i have to lose you.

to get back to me.

- ali