altercation of self-actualization《poetry

r . i . p m e m o r i e s

i find myself

stoned in a burnt down

u-haul truck

surrounded by free weed

my ex-boyfriend and

people i consider friends.

smokes past around

between boys with heavy backpacks

over filling with 

mommy issues and

medication prescribed

for their parents.

and a girl who has been

labled slut 'cause she has only

dated dicks that tend

to treat her like shit.

then theres' me

with cremated memories

of past evenings

on swing sets

at eleven o'clock at night

high as a kite we let

our laughter cut

through the hollow air

of these broken towns.

lighting smokes

by one and another

after exams so stressed

sitting on the yellow building steps

blocked from the wind

its time like this

that make me think

of how addiction

made up our friendship.

that what brought

us closer together was my lack

of undetstanding what was

the matter with my life

hanging out with twenty year olds

who have mastutrbated

to me while i was sitting

in their fucking home.

i don't know what

happened to us.

i think i have an idea tho.

you don't want to talk to me

anymore

i don't blame you either

i would leave me to

if i had the choice.

its kinda hard not to

think of you and your

anger issues

when i stare at a grinder

filled to the brim

with weed.

'cause thats were

our friendship lies

in a now empty grinder

thats dusted with

your white wine lies.

r.i.p to our old memories

i bid you a good-bye

11:33 pm