i now take nightime
benadryl to help me
sleep my mind is in
over load.
pumping out
what feels like
a thousand thoughts
per second.
this is a mess
i try to explain to my mom
she does not understand.
she can not see inside
my mind.
she only hears
the insensitive tapping
of my finget tips
on the tabel top
my foot making a beat
on the tiles of the kitchen floor.
she can not see
the ever so fluttering mess
that is my brain.
i take handfuls
of nightime benadryl
to lure my brain to sleep.
everynight peeling away
the backings on the packaging.
this has become the only
way i can make it quiet
by drugging myself
to the sweet lullabie of
one day prescription addiction.
i really just can't close my eyes
and go to bed anymore.
i really fucking wish i could.
my thoughts in my mind
just can't stop ticking anymore.
why can't i just sleep anymore.
10:45 pm
YOU ARE READING
altercation of self-actualization《poetry
Poetryal•ter•ca•tion noun 1. a noisy argument or disagreement espically in public self-ac•tu•al•i•za•tion noun 1. the realization or fulfilment of ones talents and potentialities, espically conisdered as a drive or need present in everyone
