Thanatos: The White Dawn

(8)Lace and Ungrace

'The only home I needed was him...'  

Lace and Ungrace

We didn't speak.

The carriage was completely drained of all noise and any sound other than that of the horse's hooves hitting the snow was suffocated by the crushing anger radiating from Thanatos' body. He looked murderous.

I kept my head down as I tried to think of something to say that would make any of this better. The issue was, I don't think Thanatos even wanted me in the carriage with him at that point. He was overwhelmed with a rage I'd never seen before- it was blinding.

The snow was thicker than when we'd arrived a few hours ago, and now whatever sunlight had struggled to get past the harsh mist and fog was all but gone; hiding for the night. A cold blizzard had sprung up and the carriage windows were covered with frost. I pulled my coat up higher around my neck, my thick gloves making it hard for me to use my fingers.

The horses didn't seem to notice the cold as they raged on. I breathed out, the bitter air turning my breath into mist. I wanted so badly to press myself against him and feel his heat, but I didn't dare touch him now. Not now.

Thanatos' hands were clenched onto his scythe on his lap. His black gloves stretched apart, but he failed to notice the pain he was causing himself as his hold kept getting tighter and tighter. Those red eyes were trained on the horizon, his black hood up. He didn't want me to see him- I gritted my teeth; the feeling of being a nuisance too great.

Some more time passed and the silence filled up the carriage until I thought I might drown under the pressure of his tension. I wanted so badly to say something- to make him realise that he wasn't alone. I wanted to tell him that he wasn't at fault; that no one blamed him for being so cruel to her. That woman deserved far worse...

But I didn't say a word. I let him stew in his fury and watched the snow fall.

The stars were bright and filled the night sky with brilliance, but did little to ease the gloom that hung over the luxurious carriage.

Finally, after what felt like forever, we neared the border of her land, where we were meant to pick up Hypnos and portal our way back to the palace and out of this hellish tundra.

I wanted to sigh in relief, but that meant breaking the glass of silence. I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I did the next best thing- I shifted my body to move across to the other bench where Hypnos normally sat.

In an instant, I was pulled back by a strong hand on my upper arm. I felt an excited thrill shoot up my spine as he touched me, but it was short-lived as the thought of him being angry with me quickly ran through my mind.

Thanatos' voice was icy, but his words held a certain warmth that he reserved solely for me; "Stay with me."

I nodded and did as he asked. I sat back down, but he pulled me closer, his grip strong, but careful. He didn't want to hurt me; I could tell he was trying hard not to be too forceful.