Together Apart | ✓

|Chapter XV|

Don't let the bullsh*t stress you

Chapter 15: You can't fix what's already broken

When people usually had huge fights, they would try to avoid each other. It became tense and awkward whenever around the other. The reason to why they keep their distances.

If they only saw each other occasionally it made it easier to avoid them. If they attended the same workplace or school then that was tricky, but it was possible. Now, imagine they lived with each other. You'd think they couldn't stay away from each other. Well you're wrong. Why? Because I avoided him like a deadly plague.

I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to share the same air as him. I didn't want anything to do with Jordan Brits.

Right now, I couldn't control my emotions from the trauma I experienced less than three days ago. It was like a never-ending thriller and not the kind of hyped of thriller.

The weekend was an easy task. I stayed cooped up in my room. Jordan attempted to talk to me but true to my words I ignored him. He just wouldn't budge because he was like a mosquito by my ear buzzing his mouth with apologies. I had even resulted in locking my room because I didn't feel safe around him.

Couples had fights which were perfectly normal. Although, ours wasn't just a typical fight. It went to an extreme point that there was violence and I, myself didn't understand the whole situation.

The fight itself didn't make sense but so didn't Jordan. All of it felt like a nightmare that was bound to be over.

He broke my trust. I blamed myself for throwing my trust out there and giving it to people so easily. But knowing Jordan all my life I didn't expect him to take it for granted especially with us being an official thing. It was like he ripped my heart out and stabbed a knife through it multiple times. The thing was he did do that, metaphorically. What he literally did do was put one into my arm, which still hurt by the way.

Jordan always took me to school but I went with Reece. She was going to my ride for a long time because I wasn't planning on talking or even forgiving Jordan.

Forgiveness wasn't even something I was considering. I've done it too many times carelessly and now I had to stop. I've already been taken advantage of. I wasn't going to let him or anyone else walk all over me.

He took me as a weak girl who would keep coming back to him. I blamed myself for that too. For staying when I could've left so many times.

I felt hurt.

Sad.

Betrayed.

Damaged.

Angry.

Disappointed at both him and myself.

But what I felt the most was empty. Empty with my thoughts that I spoke to but they ever responded back. No one could have an absolute idea of what I felt inside. I was a lost soul in the world. Everyone who claimed to be there for me acted blind. Did they not see that I was not happy or at least seem sane? I felt insane but not as insane as Jordan.

He was psychotic.

He was an evil person who thought I was his. Who did he think he was to claim to have hurt me for lying to him? I've told many white lies here and there to him but before he didn't do a thing—which he was not supposed to do.

He was now controlling, possessive, rude, had a change of emotions. One day he was so loving to me the next he's choking me. I knew what he did to me was wrong but there was something inside of me that would feel guilty for leaving him. This time I wouldn't feel a thing when I break up with him.