b&tb | knj [✔️]

21

[learning you were wrong]

—

"What are you doing here?" he asked me.

My idol, my inspiration, my older brother.

Not like we were blood related or anything, it's just that he had been there for me in times when Bongyoung could never have been.

I do love my blood brother a lot, it's just Yoongi is less annoying and bitchy.

"Hello?"

I snapped out of my thoughts.

"O-oh uh hi?"

He raised his eyebrow at me,

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me why you're here way past midnight? On your own? Again?"

He sounds genuinely concerned, just like a real big brother..

"I'm trying to figure something out" I said slowly.

He remained silent while dribbling the ball from his left hand to his right, as if urging me to continue.

"I'm trying to figure out the wiring of my confusing and painfully stubborn heart."

He nodded slowly, and I continued.

"I don't know how to feel about love. Well, to be more frank, I don't know how to feel anymore."

He looked up and faced me.

"Sometimes love is about embracing feeling numb.

You don't always have to know how to feel to figure out how your heart is wired.

Your heart speaks the truth, your mind speaks logic. If I were you, I'd listen to your heart.

It saves you less pain and makes things easier.

Go with your head and you'll find yourself in a spiral of regrets."

He laughed softly,

"and I know first hand what that's like."

We both then enjoyed a comfortable silence full of deep thought.

I couldn't help but think of Namjoon and what he was feeling right now.

He had apologised and offered his whole heart to me, and what had I done? Threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

Why? All because I was scared to let myself hurt even more, when I had already done that just by rejecting him.

I glanced at Yoongi and smiled, then pulled him by the sleeve and hugged him.

"Thanks, you just made me realise what a bitch I truly am."

Then, without another word, I got off the benches and walked off home, leaving him in utter shock.