b&tb | knj [✔️]

23

[rising in the east]

—

"The fuck d- Y/N..?!"

I simply smiled, tears beginning to blur my sight.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry."

I responded by pulling him into a tight hug.

He stood there in a state of shock for a few seconds, before melting into it ; resting his arms around my hips, pulling me closer towards him as I started crying even louder.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, but my parents are sending me to a boarding school outside Ulsan."

I let go of him, barely able to meet his eyes.

My heart clenched in pain.

The only thing I managed to say was a small and shaky 'why?'

This time it was his turn to cry.

He pulled me back towards him, crying into my hair.

Since I was almost his height, I was able to offer my shoulder.

Numbly, I stood there with him sobbing into my shoulder, with only three words echoing in my head.

He's leaving you.

There was no point in confessing anymore, since he was leaving in January, which is only two months away.

All my hopes and dreams of being with him just got crushed, big time.

He won't even be in the same city as you anymore.

He's leaving you.

You're a loser, Y/N.

He's leaving you.

You hurt him so bad, his parents don't even want him to stay near you.

He's leaving you.

This is all your fault.

"Well then, N-namjoon. I g-guess this is our goodbye then."

He smiled sadly and nodded his head once.

I wiped my eyes and was about to turn away, when he stopped me.

"Y/N, look at me."

I barely met his eyes, over my shoulder.

"I will never stop loving you. I never have and I never will. Ever since the day I met you, I always knew that you were the one. I felt it in my veins. My head told me you weren't worth it, that there were other girls that were so much better than you, that I should stop chasing you. But at the end of the day, my heart won. It will always win, whether I'm near you or not. Y/N Park, you have my heart."

I stood there, speechless.

He's giving his heart to you, as a goodbye present. Don't tear it to pieces again, don't you dare hurt him again.

"Namjoon.. I love you. I love you so fucking much. You mean everything to me. I'm sorry for being such a selfish asshole when you gave your heart to me for the first time. I can vividly imagine growing old with you, spending the rest of my life with you. Like yours, my head told me to forget you ever existed. My heart, well my heart told me to cherish you like you were the best thing that ever happened to me. Truth be told, you really are. I will definitely miss you, but please know that I too will never ever stop loving you. You own my whole heart, Kim Namjoon. Thank you for bringing me joy and happiness again. I will never forget you."

He smiled, that beautiful dimply smile, to which I smiled back, for the first time in awhile, revealing the two deformed sides of my face.

"You know, Y/N, you really are illegirl."

I laughed, "shut up, illeguy."

And that was the last time I would see that smile, hear that voice, and feel this everblooming sense of happiness I feel whenever I'm around him, for a long time.