The Girl Behind The Books ✔

Chapter 60

Emma's POV

The entire time on the way to Walmart, it was silent, neither one of us said a word, or looked at each other- at least I think so, because I was staring out the window while Jesse drove, not sure if he looked at me or not.

I grabbed a cart and started my way through the aisles, getting what was needed. Of course not acknowledging Jesse's presence as he followed me.

It honestly didn't make sense, my dad wasn't the type of person to get mad at such a thing, I could have told him months later and he wouldn't have reacted half as bad about it as he did earlier.

I knew I shouldn't have snapped at him that way though, and I knew it was all my fault. But a part of me couldn't help but blame Jesse. I knew he knew something I didn't and I hated that.

"Emma, I get that your upset about your dad but hey you should have told him about us" He said, walking faster so he was now next to me. "I didn't want to you idiot, I'm not even dating you because I want to, you're forcing me" I said, not slowing down.

"You know you f*cking want me" He said harshly. "Sure, that's totally why I'm happy dating you right?" I rolled my eyes. "You are happy- even if you aren't, I couldn't care less. You're mine and always will be, and if anyone tries to come between us, well they just wait and see" He said, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

"Get your hand off me" I said, pushing him away and walking faster. "You're such a heartless b*tch you know that? All you care about is yourself, you're too blind to see the perfect guy for you wants you" He said, catching up to me again.

"And who is this perfect guy?" I asked, rolling my eyes again. "Me obviously, you should be happy you're dating me. I made you stronger, pushed you to keep going, even made you who you are right now, and in return, you f*cking hate me" He said with frustration.

Okay.

What. The. Actual. F-

I stopped my walking and turned to look at him. "Are you serious? You think you helped
me? You didn't make me stronger, you broke me down so many times, I'm weak because of you and you're hurtful words and actions. You think you pushed me to keep going? You're one of the reasons I want to f*cking die. Don't you get that? You took all the hope I had left, it's like you actually want me to go insane. But yes, you're right about one thing, you are the reason for who I am today. You made me this insecure, depressed, f*cked up, weak and self-harming pathetic b*tch." I almost yelled.

Jesse stood speechless and stared on for what seemed like forever until his mouth finally opened. "Wow, you're really going to blame me for how f*cked up you are? Deep inside you know its all your fault, maybe that's why you hate me. Because it gives you a reason to try to believe its not completely your fault. All I did was help you realize everything you are. A pathetic, ugly, selfish and attention seeking b*tch who thinks can go around and get all the guys to fall for her" He said, as I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold back my tears, but failed to do so when I felt a tear drop roll down my cheek.

"I guess you're right" I mumbled, looking down at my shoes. Except no guy would ever want me, neither did I bother trying to get their attention. It was only Brendon. "You know I'm right. Everything is your fault. Even your mom's death. I'm surprised your dad hasn't abandoned you because I'm pretty sure he blames you too, even your brother." He said, with his usual cold, harsh tone. He came closer, making me back up a bit as my back hit the shelves behind.

"F*cks sake, just leave me alone" I said, tears now flowing down my cheeks endlessly. I pushed Jesse away and ran towards the exit.

I kept running and running until I couldn't run anymore.