Take My Hand: Walking Dead Fanfic

Chapter 16-Smoke Engraved

Chapter 16

•Carl•

I didnt look back to see if Joslyn was coming or not, but she eventually did. I held the door open with my heal, just in case it were to close. I set Judith down, letting her walk over to Maggie and I stepped in, hearing the door finally close and Joslyn stood adjacent of me. .

"Okay, go check the shelves. I'll take-"
"We don't need certain positions, just look."

I headed off, leaving them shocked with mood change. I know what they were thinking, I used to be caring, only of Judith, really. I still am, just not for anyone else. Michonne and Maggie were more of just friends, and who else would I need room for in my brain.

I stalked through the isles as I held my gun in front of me. I set it down on the shelf, and nothing was in order anyway, so I would probably find it anyway. There were cans of food, old magazines with probably only certain pages left and a bunch of other random items. I searched through each shelf in every isle, finding things and putting them in my bag.

I had, so far, a bag of trail mix, some canned food, and an old water bottle. The only thing in there that was still edible or hasn't been expired yet was the trail mix. I went through one more isle, none of it being food, but counter goods. You know-things you can only buy behind and at the counter. I found two lottery cards, scratching them off with my nail, and I won seven dollars.

You never win in this world.

I tossed them in the air, letting them fall to the ground and something caught my eye. I looked at the small box next to a shiny, metal object. As I scooted closer, I saw a box of cigarettes next to a lighter.

If you never win, how can you lose?!

I reach for them. I held the box with my left hand and the lighter with my right. I slid down, still hearing everyone's hands shuffling through other shelves. I opened the box, only seeing three, and I watched as a flame flicked from the lighter. It looked irresistible. Nothing mattered anymore, so what about this.

I held the lighter to the cigar, sparks going everywhere, when a hand came upon it and chucked it to the ground. I stood up before seeing who it was, the person stomping it to the floor. I looked up, seeing Joslyn as she stared at me.

"What the hell are you doing?!"
She whispered, yet she yelled at me. I swallowed, then broke the trance I was in. She almost looked...disappointed.

"Me?!"

She nodded and crossed her arms.

"I didn't think you were that dumb."
"Thanks..."

Her mouth hung open as she realized was she just said.

"I-I didn't mean-"
"Yea. Yea I know. You think that I'm just a screw up. That me trying to have a little fun is bad."
"It is when it could kill you!"

I stepped closer, over the items on the floor, and my nose peeked down on her. She stood there, her eyes angrily locked on me, every step I took and every move I made and everything I said, it didn't matter how serious it was or how delicate I would sound, it would be held against me till the words left scars on my neck.

Might as well write a poem on my tongue.

"What about the monsters out there, huh?"
"Walkers-"
"I'm not talking about walkers."

She stepped back. Her breathing got heavy and she looked as if she had just saw me swallow a person into what I called myself.

"Well...still. They are monsters. They do kill you, just as much as that can."

I looked down at the stomped on cigar, watching the smoke rise from it.

"Don't become what you fear."
She told me in certainty.

"I can't fear nothing."

I swallowed the smoke engraved on my tongue, wishing that the smoke rising would stop. I could practically taste it. The mournful words it spoke, the taunting way it looked and the harmful memories it gave.

"Oh...Carl, I-"
"Why did you come to me?"
I stopped her, knowing what she was thinking.
"Need something?"

She looked ashamed. I'm not sure who of, though. It could be anyone and anything at this point.

Two days. It has been two days.

She went back to her normal body language, slumped and sarcastic.

"No, it's just-"

She was stopped. The doors started banging and we ran from the isle seeing walkers from the door and the rest of the group came out.

"Shit."
Joslyn said. There were at most a dozen, which might not seem that big, but when you know the thing you are dealing with can kill you and can only be killed in the head, you feel like nothing is going to make a difference.

Joslyn's feet started to move as she ran backwards, heading to the back counter with her, grabbing the box and lighter as I did.