Reckless

Chapter Four ; Lost and Found

“L-Liam?” my voice caught in my throat, oh god I was having another one of my nightmares. This can’t be real, I thought, frozen in my spot. “Sam.” His deep voice sent chills up and down my spine, leaving me with that oh so familiar feeling. I could feel the hot tears prick the corners of my tired eyes, but I was exhausted, and I couldn’t fight them as they spilled over my lashes and down my cheeks.  My legs began to shake under my weight, this nightmare seemed so real, I thought as my fingers gripped ahold of the bar to help steady myself. His green eyes looked so sad, my heart ached just looking at him, I wish this was real so that I could just hold him one more time. “We need to talk.” He whispered, as he leaned in closer to me, I could smell the thick scent of whiskey on his breath. Before I could speak I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me from behind the bar, leading me towards the back door.

He pulled me into the alley, the rain dripping off the small awning over the door. “W-what is…is this…” I stuttered on my words, my brain just couldn’t get my thoughts in order. His fingers tightened around my wrist, pulling me into his arms. The warmth from his body got rid of the chill from the rain, washing my whole body in a satisfying sensation. This wasn’t a nightmare, this was the best dream I had ever had. “I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered, his warm breath blowing across my ear. “This is the best dream I’ve had in a long time.” I whispered, my fingers gripping onto the material of his shirt. After so many restless nights I couldn’t get over the pure comfort his hold on me had. I never wanted to let go of him, I wanted this to last for as long as possible. “This isn’t a dream, Sam.” He whispered, his voice thick with emotion. My eyes shot up, looking him in the face. “Not a dream?” I asked, my fingers reaching up to brush against his cheek. He shook his head slowly, leaning in so that our noses nuzzled against each other gently. “Why did you leave me?” He whispered as his arms snaked back around my body, clinging to me like it was life or death.

I thought about what he said, my body still overwhelmed with the sensation of being touched by him again. It felt like a fire was smoldering right under my skin, erupting with each touch of his fingers. “You told me to leave… and I got you hurt. I can never forgive myself for that. It was all my fault. I am so sorry.” My voice cracked, the ping of sadness growing in my chest. Memories of that day flashed through my mind like a movie, each time it replayed more of my heart would break.   “Sam, I told you to leave the house. Not my life.” He whispered, his thumbs rubbing small circles on my sides. “I just wanted to protect you, that was all.” He hooked his finger under my chin, lifting my head so that our eyes met again. “You leaving, has royally fucked me up.” He whispered, before I could respond his lips crashed against mine, the kiss was heated and needy and my body instantly gave into him. Our lips moved against each other in a perfect rhythm like nothing had changed. I almost gave in to the exquisite feelings he sent rushing through my body, but I snapped myself back to reality, pulling out of his warm arms. “I can’t do this. I’m bad for you.” My voice was barely at a whisper. “You’re bad for me?” He let out a chuckled, the sweet velvety sound vibrated in my ears, as he pulled me back into his arms, “Baby, you are the only thing that keeps me in line these days. I’m so close to falling off the deep end without you there.” I tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he was way stronger than I remember. “Liam, I got you shot. I am so fucked up in the head I let the only man I’ve ever loved end up shot!” The tears threatened to pour again as my voice began to rise. “What kind of fucked up person lets the one person they love get hurt?” That was it, the tears poured from my eyes again as I tried to work my way out of his arms. “Sam, you didn’t cause any of that. You aren’t fucked up. You’re perfect.” He mumbled, his arms keeping me firmly pressed to his body. I let out an obnoxious laugh as I placed both of my hands on his chest and tried to push him away. “Perfect? I am so far from perfect!” I yelled, still unable to break free from his clutch. “Sam, I love you, I have been losing my mind trying to find you again. We can work this out because I refuse to let you go again.” He clenched his teeth as he gently backed me up against the door. “You are the only woman I have every loved, Sam. When you left I lost my mind, I can’t handle shit without you. Now that I know what having you is like I refuse to live without you.” He lowered his voice, there was a hint of pain behind his words but there was something else there too; possessiveness. I don’t know how he could see me this way after all the pain I had caused him. My heart was pounding in my chest as I tried to decide what I should do. One part of me missed him dearly and would do anything to have him back in my life. The other part though, it knew I wasn’t worth his love or attention.

“You deserve so much more than me though. I ruin everything.” I whispered, closing my eyes for a moment as I tried to control the tears. I have cried so much over the past few weeks I don’t even know how I have any tears left. “You are the love of my life Sam, I deserve all of you; all of the good and all of the bad. I will take it all. You say you’re fucked up in the head, well when I’m not with you I am too, and all I want is you back.” He buried his face in my neck, my body seemed to fold inward, begging to touch as much of him as possible. His words were hard for me to understand, I don’t know how they could be true about me. There was nothing great about me, but he seemed to believe there was. I stopped fighting his hold on me, my body taking in every touch that tingled over my skin. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” He whispered, placing a kiss to my cheek before ushering me though the door.

I must have been caught up in the moment because I hadn’t realized I was trembling all over. As we were engulfed by the smoky warmth of the bar I couldn’t bare letting go of him yet. My finger tips roamed over his sides as we stood in the dark hallway. “Please don’t let this be a dream.” I whispered, my forehead resting against his chest. He let out a soft chuckle that I felt vibrate through his chest. “When do you get off work?” He whispered, placing a kiss to the top of my head. “In about thirty minutes… why?” I lifted my head, now eye to eye with the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. “Then I will wait. We need to talk but not here.” He placed a soft kiss to my lips before walking back out to the bar and taking a seat in one of the booths against the wall.

---------
Since a lot of you were dying from the cliffhanger! Let me know what you think so far!