Reckless

Chapter 23 ; "Well, honesty is good, right?"

Chapter 23 ;

Time seemed to stop, at least in my world, as I rested in her arms. It was like I had found my way home. There was no better way to describe how she felt, she was the place where things felt okay, and I felt whole. I guess it is true what they say, home is where the heart is, and my heart was with Sam. Never in a million years did I think I would ever believe something like that. Hell, I don’t think I ever wanted that, not until now anyways. Once I had it, living without it just seemed to be pointless. I thought that if I just removed her for a while, I could go back to the way I was before and take care of business as usual. Deep down I thought that her being there was the only reason I acted different, but I was wrong. She had changed me, I wasn’t the same asshole I used to be. There was no going back, she had changed me more than I would ever like to admit. Now, I had to figure out a way to do this as the new me but where do I even start? Was this even something the new me could accomplish? I felt myself sinking but it was like she could sense a change in me instantly. I felt her fingers trace small shapes on my back as she spoke softly to me. “What’s the matter?” She whispered, the dark room along with her sweet voice seemed almost like a dream. Part of me wanted to spill my guts to her, she had that effect on me but the other parts of me wanted to protect her. I didn’t want to be the thing that destroyed her. “Just a lot on my mind…” I mumbled, tilting my chin slightly to kiss her shoulder. There was no doubt I was way too large to be held by her, but she didn’t seem to give it a second thought. Even with my head rested on her chest and my arms locked tightly around her she seemed comfortable.

“You know this will never work if you don’t learn to trust me, right?” Her sweet voice called out to me again. My heart sank in my chest, is that what she thought? I trusted her more than anything in the world. I trusted this woman with my life. The sheer thought of her thinking otherwise broke my heart. I lifted up my head, even in the dark I could make out those sweet brown eyes. “I trust you. You are the only one I trust with my whole heart.” I whispered, my arms tightening around her. “Then tell me what is bothering you…. you can share your problems with me Liam, that is what I am here for. I am your back up, your go to…I can be your number one.” I let out a soft laugh at her words, she was my number one but maybe not how she meant. “I don’t want to drag you into that part of my life. I want to keep you safe and if you knew…things might change. After how I felt when you were gone there is no way I could let you leave forever…”

She was silent for a moment, but that I was used to. Sam was always very careful with her words, she always took her time to work them out before she spoke. “When I agreed to be with you, I knew what came along with it. Do I necessarily like it? Not really but I accept it. Because when you weren’t around, I knew that my life with you was worth the risks. So, drag me into it Liam, if this is your life and I want to be apart of it there will come a time when I have to jump in. It’s all or nothing.” It’s all or nothing. Deep down I knew she was right, relationships like my mother and fathers weren’t real. They were built on lies, money, and fake love – that isn’t what I wanted for Sam and me. She deserved better and I planned to give that to her.

“Fine… we can talk about it all, but not right now. Right now, I just want to be with you and that is it.” I rested my head back against her chest. She scratched her fingernails gently across my scalp as I listened to her heart beat away in her chest. For that moment I was completely calm and at ease.

Suddenly, I was snapped out of my peaceful sleep by a loud banging on Sam’s bedroom door. “Honey! You up? Breakfast is ready, come on down.” Sam’s grandma called out. Sam launched herself out of bed and ran to the door, locking it. “uh…um..yea…I’m up…I’ll be right down!” She panicked, as she rushed over to me. “Sam hunny, are you alright?” Her grandma called out, probably concerned with the tone of Sam’s voice. “Yea! I’m fine just…I’ll be down in a second!” Her grandma must have accepted the answer because all that could be heard in response was her headed back down the stairs. I could tell she was scared to death to get caught with me in her room and I couldn’t help but find some comedy in the situation. I was trying my best not to laugh as she tried to pull me out of her bed. “What?” I laughed before quickly being hushed. “The window.” She mouthed as she pointed at the window across the room. “Oh, hell no Sam.” I chuckled, “I am not climbing out of a second story window…” For a moment I thought she would snap out of it, but she handed me my shirt and began pushing me towards the window. “Babe, you cannot be serious…” I tugged my shirt on and looked down at her. She couldn’t really want me to do that, could she? “Listen, my gran is super old fashioned when it comes to boys….and I really don’t want her to meet you like this…just climb out and give me about ten minutes. I will tell her that I invited you over so you could meet her. But I need a little time to talk to her because honestly…I haven’t told her much about you….”

“Are you embarrassed of me?” I asked, I knew that wasn’t the case, or so I hoped not, but I wasn’t about to miss out on a chance to mess with her. “No!” She jumped, covering her mouth quickly. “No…I just didn’t want to get her hopes up or anything…she knows about you I just need to kind of warn her. No offense but you can be a little…intimidating.” Ahhh, there it is, I understood where she was coming from. I didn’t exactly scream boyfriend material. I leaned down and kissed her forehead before I turned and opened the window. “Ten minutes?” Her face lit up with a breath-taking smile. “Yes. Thank you.”

As I carefully climbed out her window, I couldn’t help but smile. I would have climbed out of a ten-story window for her, so this was nothing. Trying my best not to fall or make too much noise, I lowered myself as much as I could before I let go, landing just a few feet from the front door. At this point, all I could do was pray that no one saw me jump from her window or me hiding in the bushes outside her house. The last thing I need would be a neighbor to call the cops on me – I am pretty sure that is not the type of first impression Sam wants me to give her. With each minute that passed I couldn’t help but continue to get more nervous. I had never met a girl’s parents or grandparents before, that type of commitment was never my style. My hands began to sweat, and a laugh escaped me. This was insane, I have never been more nervous in my entire life. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought, each day I saw a little more of how Sam had changed me. With each second that past by I couldn’t help but notice the knot in my throat grew.

Sam

My heart was pounding out of control as I made my way down the stairs. What was I going to say? How was I going to explain all of this to her? A sudden pang of guilt hit me, what if Liam really thought I was embarrassed of him. That was not the case at all, I just wanted her to accept how much I loved him. She was the only family I had, and I want her to like him. “Hey Gran…” I started as I entered the kitchen but was quickly interrupted. “Where is your friend?” She asked, as she sat the third plate onto the kitchen table. A nervous laugh erupted from my chest, “Huh? Friend? What are you talking about?” My voice trembled uncontrollably as I spoke. Gran looked up from the table, a confused look on her face. “The man in your room?” My heart felt like it fell right out of my butt and onto the floor. I froze in my spot and I am pretty sure the look of pure horror was etched all over my face. My gran let out a soft laugh as she moved around the table to where I was standing. “Sam, hunny, you are a grown woman, what you do with that boy is none of my business. But if he is gonna stay in my house then you better introduce us.”

I felt like a fish out of water, my mouth was moving awkwardly as I tried to suck in oxygen. She knew. She knew that Liam had been there the whole time and my mind locked up with a machine with no oil. “I made him climb out of the window.” I blurted out uncontrollably. My hand slapped down over my double-crossing lips, did they just let those words out of my mouth? My Gran looked me dead in the eyes, a horrified expression on her face. “You did what now?”

I took a few steps backwards towards the front door, “Speaking of that, I am going to go check on him and make sure he made it down okay…” I spun around so quickly I nearly toppled over, “I’m okay!” I called out as I caught myself on the doorframe and rushed down the hallway. 

My socked feet stop in front of the door, I took a deep breath before reaching down and pulling the door open. There, standing in front of the door was Liam with his hand up and reach to knock. He looked up, a confused look crossing over his face. “She knows….” The confused look didn’t leave his face. “Babe, you are going to have to give me more than that if you want me to have any clue what you are talking about…” I rolled my eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the house. “She knows you were upstairs and that I made you climb out of the window.” I whispered, but it came out more like a very quiet yell. He tried his best to hide how funny he found this whole situation as he covered his mouth with his hand. “Well honesty is good, right?” I rolled my eyes and began to pace back and forth in the hallway. “Sam! Sweetheart are you all coming? Breakfast is getting cold!”