Reckless

Chapter 25 ; closer

After getting Sam settled in at the villa, I quickly excused myself. There was this side of me that hated how much control Sam had over me. It made me feel weak and helpless and that was the last thing I wanted to feel when I was around her. Loving someone has really fucked me up. I can’t seem to figure out who the hell I am anymore. The two sides of me are polar opposites and trying to keep them balanced isn’t working. Both of these sides want to be in control, and the battle between both of my personalities is causing me to lose all control. Before Sam I had one side, it was dark and dirty, and I had very low morals. I didn’t care about anyone or anything other than my crew. Work and play were all that mattered to me back then. Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t quite as fucked in the head as my father was, but when it came down to it, I was no good. I’ve fought and beat people up for sheer entertainment, I would drink excessively and fuck anyone I wanted. Hell, I sell drugs and guns to people who do terrible things. I lived my life with no restraint. However, since Sam came into my life, she’s managed to cultivate a side of me I’m not sure would exist without her. I love this woman more than anything and I want to be what she needs me to be but that other side won’t just give up. How do you tell the woman you love that you don’t want to have sex because you are afraid you won’t have control? I’m not sure if it’s stress from all of this shit going on but the struggle to not be a complete asshole all of the time is getting harder. I am trying so hard to play the part of a good guy for her but I’m not a good guy. She will hate me if she gets a glimpse of what I am capable of. I do my best to push all of these thoughts to the back of my mind as I drive down the deserted road in the middle of nowhere.

The wind was howling as I stepped out of my car and headed into the warehouse where Marcus had his little operation set up. The way the wind whipped and bellowed definitely didn’t help the anger and anxiety stirring under my skin – it only seemed to intensify my mood. A couple days ago, I had contacted Marcus again, I wanted to know anything and everything going on in my circle. I wanted to keep my circle small and safe. Now it was time to sit down with him and go over every file he had put together. The one thing I knew about Marcus was that he would find out every detail. I pushed the heavy double doors open, entering his makeshift computer lab he had set up. “Marcus.” I barked, as his eyes met mine. He gave me a nod of his head and motioned towards a desk piled with several folders. “So here you go. These files contain any and everything you might want to know about someone. Hospital records, texts, emails, addressed from their GPS. There are also some bank statements. You name it, it’s there. Most of the information is from the last six months but some details go back several years. Six months was the cut off for your friend Trenton. Seems like that is about when his contact with your father picked up.” He handed over a file with Trenton’s name scribbled across the font. “His is thicker, more information. Nothing else suspicious popped up on anyone else. If you want me to go back farther, I can but I think you’re good.” My eyes scanned over the names on the files and I was slightly disturbed when I saw a file labeled Samara Martinez. “You went through Sam’s stuff?” I asked, as I shook the file towards him. He simply shrugged, “You said everyone.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. When I told him to check everyone out I meant people who were involved with my operations.  My curiosity got the best of me as I flipped open her file. “There wasn’t much there.” He spoke up as he watched me flip through her file. “She is pretty nonexistent. Lots of hospital visits but other than that it’s like she lived under a rock. Her text logs are in there, but her email seemed pretty inactive. Her bank statements are in there, mostly small deposits.”

My eyes scanned slowly over the papers, doctors’ reports listing broken bones, bruising and other trauma. How the hell did social services not get involved if there were so many visits. My heart ached as I came to one listed ‘Attempted suicide’. Quickly, I shut the file and closed my eyes as I tried my best to calm my anger. This was all his fault, everything was this assholes fault. Focus, I thought to myself as I put her file down and picked up the one that I hoped would give me some answers. I flipped through the file, scanning over each page carefully. There was a lot of communication between Trenton and my father. Mostly Trenton expressing his need for more and my father feeding him small jobs behind my back. After reading over the file it was obvious Trenton was aiming to take over my position and push me out. All Trenton cared about was the money and the power. That fuckface only cared about knocking me down a few levels and the thought of it made my blood boil. If he wasn’t already dead, I know this would have sealed his fate. “I let that bitch off way too easy…” I spoke, mostly to myself. Trenton had planned on taking over a new job my father was planning to start up a couple towns away. 

After reading through each file I was ready to blow off some steam. Several of the guys were happy to help me drown my anger is a bottle of whiskey. We spent the night working on a plan to destroy my father. First, we were going to have to break off some ties he had before we could do any real damage. My father might be a psychopath, but he is smart. He has too many people on his side right now. We needed to find the weakest links and break them off, maybe even make them think my father was screwing them over. Once we had come up with the first part of the plan, we tossed the work talk aside and tossed back more liquor than I had drank in a while. The more I drank the more the liquid just seemed to add fuel to the fire that was my anger. Each drink made me want to do more and more damage. As the liquid burned down my throat it felt as though it was igniting every bit of my body. If I didn’t find a way to ease this pressure I was bound to explode. I could feel the rage clawing at my insides begging to be released. That’s when I spotted him – the last time I had seen Travis Parsons was the night he assaulted Sam. Just seeing him across the bar was enough to send me into a full-blown rage. I had found the perfect way to release some anger.

Without a word to anyone I stood up from the bar and made my way across the room. The guys must have spotted my target because I could feel them behind me. “Parsons…” I grinned as we cornered him and his buddies. The look of fear washed over his face as he sat the pool stick down on the table. That fear brought more joy to me than I expected. “Liam.” He said dryly as he shifted in his spot. I clicked my tongue against my teeth as I took a few steps towards him. “We have some unfinished business.” I spat, grabbing him by his shirt I began dragging him towards the nearest exit. He tried his best to pull away from me, but my hand was locked onto him. I couldn’t help but feel a certain type of way as I shoved him to the ground in the alley way just a few blocks from where he attacked Sam.  “Get. Up.” I hissed as he quickly pulled himself to his feet, backing a few steps back as the others joined us in the alley. His friends made a small attempt to step in to help his friends, but it didn’t take much convincing by Alex and the other guys to make them back off. They stood back awkwardly watching the scene unfold in front of them.

“Travy boy…” I grinned as I paced back and forth, my feet scraping across the gravel. “Listen Liam, all that stuff was just a m-mistake… I’m sorry…” Terror was etched across his face as he stumbled over his words. “Sorry?” I asked, a rough laugh rumbled from my chest. Even I was surprised at the sinister sound that echoed off the brick walls around us. “You’re going to be sorry.” A smirk crept over my lips as I took a step towards him. In a last attempt to escape Travis threw a punch, landing across my cheekbone. I felt the sting and the warm wet blood and then everything went black.

“LIAM! STOP! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL HIM!”

“GET HIM OFF!”

The yelling around me seemed muffled, like I was underwater. My vision was dark and blurry as I snapped back to reality. Anger was rolling over me like a heat wave and I could feel hands pulling at me. As my vision cleared, I could see Travis sprawled out on the ground but all I could see was blood. The voices around me began to sound loud and clear. “The fuck!” Alex yelled as he pushed me against the wall. I watched as Travis’ buddies surrounded him and began to check to see if he was breathing. “Come on…” Alex yelled as he and the guys pulled me down the alley and back to the parking lot. The guys shoved me into the back of their car and we sped away from the scene.

“Liam, what the fuck was that?!” Alex yelled, “I am all about fucking him up but you almost killed him. He isn’t some drug dealer! He is a rich college kid! He will be missed! He will throw up red flags!” I knew Alex was right, you can’t just go around and act like there are no consequences. Hopefully, those guys will know better than to be snitches. “I must have blacked out…” I mumbled as I looked down at my white t-shirt that was now splattered with blood. My body was humming, overwhelmed by the adrenaline and alcohol that was pulsing through my veins. I needed her. “Take me to Arden Hills.” I spoke up, the guys giving me a confused look. They didn’t argue but instead drove straight towards my destination. The car came to a stop in front of the villa, without a word I climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut. All I cared about right now was getting my hands on her. She was my safe space and my anchor and right now I needed her to calm the storm.