Reckless

Chapter 11 ; Recovery

Chapter 11 ; Recovery

As we drove down the highway, Sam purring softly as she slept beside me, I couldn’t help but savor the sweet taste of her that still lingered on my lips. After her shift ended and we said good riddance to that shit hole bar we headed back to her apartment to grab a few things before we hit the road. I sat behind the wheel of her old car, this thing was pure shit as well, I needed to get her something safer and more reliable; making a mental note to do that once I got her home. My eyes glance over at her small frame for a moment before focusing back on the road, I was still amazed at how I could know so little about her but be so head over heels for her. There was no denying how I felt for her, I was wrapped around her little finger. Sometimes I wonder if she knows just how whipped she has me, part of me is glad she knows little about me because I doubt she would like my past self. On the other hand, I crave to know everything about her. I want to know about her childhood, her family, her hopes and dreams – I want to know all the good and the bad. In return I would let her know anything she wants about me, I won’t hide things from her.

A lot was going to be changing and I had to prepare myself for all of that but there was one thing for sure, as long as I had Sam by my side that was all that mattered. I was thankful to finally see my turn off for the house, after driving all night all I wanted was to be home and curled up in bed with her.

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The next few days were perfection. School was out for winter break and with only a few days left before Christmas I was content with staying locked away with Sam. We would sleep in all morning, order food and lay around stuffing our faces. I didn’t even care if I gained some weight, my goal was to get Sam to a healthier weight and a better place mentally. Our afternoons would be spent watching movies or playing games and, in the evenings, we would have a ‘get to know each other’ moment. We would share little facts about ourselves, by the third night we were starting to get into more serious topics – like our pasts. Though these moments often lead to some hot and heavy make out sessions to end our night I had decided to keep things pg-13 for a while. For the first time in a very long time I was completely happy. It made me feel carefree like a child – I knew it would all end soon when we had to go back to reality and deal with people in the outside world but for now I would cherish the small amount of time we had to ourselves.

“You don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to…” I ran my fingertips across her warm tan skin. A smile curled over my lips as I noticed that her skin had gotten back to its natural warm honey color and she no longer looked so pale. She rested her chin on her knees and shrugged slightly. “I don’t want you to see me differently…what if when I tell you all this you won’t feel the same about me?” Her words stung in my chest, it was obvious she didn’t know just how strong my feelings for her were. I reached for her, grabbing her legs and pulling her into my lap. Her warmth instantly wrapped around me, making even my chest tingle. I inhaled her sweet scent as I nuzzled my face against her shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about…nothing could ever change the feelings I have for you.” My words came out in a deep whisper, as if my own mind was trying to hide those words from myself. I couldn’t see her face, but her body seemed to melt in my arms, I needed to know she could trust me, but I didn’t want to force it. Things had gotten way out of hand in the beginning and I wanted to take our time, there was no way in hell I was going to allow myself to screw this up again.

“Promise?” Her voice broke, but I could hear the desperate tone it carried. She needed to trust me as much as I needed her to. “Promise.” I kissed the top of her head, cuddling her close to my body as if trying to comfort her. I could feel her chest rise as she took in a deep breath before she spoke again. “Things weren’t good. My parents were… customers of your father. When they couldn’t pay up I was offered up as a replacement for payment.” My heart ached, I had to force the anger deep down inside of myself. “At first he just smacked me around a bit…probably thinking that would make them pay up. Eventually things got worse though – it was when I turned fifteen that things really changed.” She leaned her head back, resting it on my shoulder – a soft sigh filling the silence in the air. “Obviously, it never went… you know… that far… but there were things in between. And sometimes he would choke me, and he would…um… touch. Usually, I would black out and when I’d wake up he would be gone.”

My arm tightened around her waist as me hand rubbed slowly over her thigh. “I swear… I didn’t know…” My throat felt dry and scratchy when I tried to speak. I was so angry with myself. Sure, this was when I was a teenager but if I had known I could have saved her from that. She didn’t deserve any of that. “I never thought you did. You might be rough around the edges sometimes, but you have a good heart.” She whispered, her finger tracing the outline of a heart on my bare arm. She was wrong though, I wasn’t a good guy but that was different, what he did was pure evil. Was Sam the only one?

“Liam you can’t blame yourself you know…” She pulled herself out of my arms, turning herself around to face me. “Hm?” My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions I had never felt before. I hadn’t realized that I had zoned out until then. Her plump lips curled into a sweet smile as she reached for my hand. “That look on your face. It’s so…angry… talk to me.” She whispered, placing a soft kiss to my hand that she now cradled in between hers. “I am angry. I am fucking pissed, Sam. If I had known about all of that then…maybe I could have stopped it. I keep wracking my brain for any kind of sign that I missed but baby I was messed up back then. I partied way more then and smoked a lot of weed… my teen years are such a blur.” She rubbed a small circle on the top of my hand as she listened to me. “Liam, it isn’t your fault it happened. It’s something I still struggle with, but you know what?” She scooted a little closer to me again, my hand still sandwiched between hers. “What?” I asked, my eyes now focused on her sweet face. “You have changed me so much. For the better. Because of you I…” She paused as if trying to collect her thoughts before she continued, my heart pounded in my chest. Sam did things to me I had never experienced before. Love was a wild ride that was for sure. “You make me face the world, you make me live. I owe you so much for that. You came looking for me when I was falling apart. You didn’t leave me to live like that. You saved me.” Her lips pressed softly to mine, my heart pounding in my chest. This girl had me, all of me, and have no idea what to do.

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