I Just Wanna Be With You

Chpt. 16: Forgiveness

It was 8:30 p.m. Otherwise known as Carlisle's bedtime. He hugged Percy tightly before hurrying to bed. Percy, who was still awake with Josh, Andrew, and Derek, who stayed there. 

Percy was silent for a while. Their conversation was still unfinished. "Jared said it looked like Alan was trying to rape me." When Jared had gotten in there, Percy's pants were discarded on the floor, his boxers pulled down a bit. He vaguely remembered waking up to Jared putting his pants back on him. 

"Was he?" Andrew whispered. 

Percy nodded. He trusted Jared and his judgement. And he trusted him before the incident, and after. And Jared wasn't gay, so why would he try to rape him? 

"Did you go to the hospital?" Josh asked. 

"Yeah. Jared took me there." 

"And you're alright?" 

"Yeah. It's all gone now, scarred tissue, if anything. But that was it." 

"Good. Good." They all looked extremely worried. "Are you sure you're alright?" 

Percy nodded, smiling. "I'm fine now." 

"So where is this son of a bitch?" Derek questioned, lips pursed, eyes glaring daggers. 

"I don't really know. I kinda tossed him out of my life." 

"Smart." 

"Thanks." 

"So...What else happened?" 

"That was pretty much it." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah." 

"Perce?" 

"Huh?" 

"Why do you always run from your problems?" 

Percy sighed. He knew he'd have to answer that question eventually. "Because it's the only thing I can do. I can't stay and face them. I wasn't able to do that since I was thrown into Gabe's care. It's too difficult for me to try to work things out." 

"And if you have a family eventually? A husband? Kids, even? Don't you think they might be terrified you might up and leave them?" 

Percy was quiet for a while. "It's my decision-" 

"No, Percy, it's not. And if it is, it's a very selfish decision. Every time you decide you can't handle things, you run. And every goddamn time, you leave your family in a puddle of tears and worry. Now, think about it. Actually think about it. Do you really want them to go through that each time you leave?"

Percy stared at Derek. 

"Then how do I stop? How do I not run? Because if you're so damn good at giving me lectures, I think I deserve a fucking answer." 

"You grow a pair and suck it the hell up. That's what you do! Because you should love your family enough to the point that you'd stay for them, even if it kills you. You actually have a family to stay with, Percy! Some people don't have that; they don't have a family that loves and cherishes them. But you do. So sorry if I thought you a total narcissistic bastard that can't get his damn head out of his fucking ass." 

And, as much as it hurt for Percy to hear it all, it was the truth. Derek was right. 

Percy nodded slowly. Derek was right. Standing, he made his way to his bedroom. He closed the door, locking it as he stared out of the window, hand in his hair. Derek was right. 

He felt tears falling. 

It was becoming his mantra. "Derek is right." 

Over and over, it was repeated as his tears fell down his face. Slowly, he slid to his knee, hiding his face in his knee. "Der's right."

He heard a knock on the door. Again, another knock. 

"Percy? Percy, I'm sorry." Derek felt like shit for making his best friend cry. 

"There's a key on top of the door," Josh said quietly, walking by. Derek grabbed the key, opening the door. He went in, spotting Percy, who was on the floor, crying, his eyes red. Derek sighed, going over and sitting down by him. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Der, you're right. Dammit, you're right."

"Perce. No, I was too harsh. I'm not...I'm wrong." 

"Der Bear...you are right. You're always fucking right. You know it. You know you're right." 

"But Percy...I didn't mean it." 

"You did. You did and that's why you said it." 

"I didn't mean to say it the way I said it though. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's not your fault. I'm just a really emotional person," Percy sniffed, sounding like he was getting even more choked up. 

"I was being a dick. I was just jealous that you have a family that actually gives a shit about where you are. About whether or not you're alive. And it was wrong of me to take it out on you." 

"I deserved it." 

"Perce. You deserve what I said, but not the way I worded it. Okay?" 

Percy nodded slowly. 

"Honey," Derek whispered, frowning as he pulled him into his arms. Percy hugged him tightly, tears still falling. "I won't say anything like that to you ever again. I promise, okay?"

Percy nodded tiredly. 

"Can I sleep in here with you?" 

Percy nodded, tears still falling Derek didn't bother helping him up, and since Percy was already clinging to him, he just lifted him up. Percy automatically wrapped his leg around his waist. Derek carried him to the bed, setting him down. 

"You want me to get some pajamas?" 

Percy nodded, obviously exhausted. So Derek grabbed some pajamas of his, tossing them to Percy. He then pulled on pajamas of his own, crawling into the twin sized bed with Percy. He turned off the lamp once they were both under the covers. 

"I am sorry for being such a shitty friend," Percy murmured. "I never thought about you or your problems." 

"It's fine. Your problems are a lot more prominent than mine. And that's fine. Because we're able to work through it. We can get through it together. Yeah?" 

Percy nodded with a sigh. "I'm still sorry." 

"I know." Derek smiled at him. Leave it to Percy to feel guilty, way past what was necessary. Typical him. 

"Let's go to sleep." 

Derek nodded, his arms going around his smaller friend. "Good night, Percy." 

"Night night, Der Bear." 

A lot had happened that night. A lot had been discussed, even shouted. And that was fine. Because what needed to be said was now in the open for all to acknowledge. But, as soon as it had happened, forgiveness set in. For both parties. Derek for forgiving Percy for being self-centered. And Percy was busy forgiving himself, because he needed it desperately. 

Forgiveness wasn't always easy. But it was truthful, and that was something everyone needed at this point.