The Tattooed Prince 2

72.

Sebastian's Point Of View

36 Hours Later

I was raised to be strong and fearless, as a Royal, fear is supposed to be a feeling unknown to our body. Nothing is supposed to scare us and nothing should tear us down. I used to think I was fearless and strong but my own self-conscious tore me down in a matter of hours. It stripped me down to my bare core and I felt vulnerable.

The hallucinations of Adalyn progressed to get worse until it disappeared in a blink of an eye. I screamed and cried for the nurses to give me something to sleep. I didn't want to be awake, my body felt as if it was shutting down my every passing minute. By the time the hell I had been sunken into spitting me back out, the nurses found me on the wooden floor. I was drenched in my own sweat and the shakes had overcome me. They helped me off the floor and sat me down on the edge of the bed.

They quickly hooked me on fluids and gave me crackers to munch on. The nurses assured me the worst had happened and in hours I'd start to feel like myself again. I begged a differ, after last night there wasn't going to be an old self of me coming back. The Sebastian before didn't exist anymore. Last night changed me for the best, even if it did strip me down from my own being.

"We are going to leave you on fluids for two hours after that you can shower. We want to make sure you don't get dehydrated." The nurse said.

"Okay," I responded tiredly.

I laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, my brain wasn't racing as quickly as it was last night. For the first time in a really long time, I am able to breathe peacefully. With each blink, my eyes got heavy until sleep invaded me completely.

Her ocean blue eyes stared blankly at me as she waited for me to answer her question. I didn't expect for me to go into therapy this quickly. After I took a shower and another fluid bag was administered, the nurse led me into Dr. Oaklen's office. My mind wasn't where it needed to be. I was exhausted and all I wanted was to be in bed. I wasn't ready to start my treatment.

"Sebastian, what did you see while you were withdrawing?" She asked me for the third time.

I shrugged, keeping my eyes focused on the coffee table in front of me. "Nonsense," I replied. 

"Care to explain to me in detail what you saw?" Dr. Oaklens asked me, putting down her pen and looking up at me. 

I didn't want to answer her question and it wasn't because I was trying to be difficult with her. She's the doctor and I am her patient and all she is trying to do is surface the reason of where my drinking problem came, but I find it difficult for her to figure it out. There isn't a sign of my hallucinations to figure out what truly triggered me to become an alcoholic. 

Adalyn isn't the reason why I began to drink excessively, nor was her separation from me. I understand why she did it and I agree it was the best choice for her. I don't understand why it was her who I envision but I can only assume she was the one I wanted to see because she gave me a sense of security. 

"You can try to figure it out by yourself or let me help you." 

I snapped my head up, meeting her stare. "I saw Adalyn." 

"My nurses say you were screaming at one point to make it all stop, can you explain to me what you saw that cause you so much agony?" She plowed me with another question. 

"You know who I am and I am sure my grandmother gave you all my personal details about my life so why are doing this?" 

She picked up her pen and scribbled something on her notebook, before responding to my question. "I don't like knowing anything prior to meeting my patients. I know about your addiction but your personal life is kept confidential. You get to open up to me what you want me to know at the pace you wish." 

I took in a deep breath. "She appeared in my room and never said a word. One moment she was standing against the wall and the next she was standing in front of me crying. I didn't know what was wrong with her and I wanted to help her. She pushes me and the next thing I knew we were in the palace and she jumps out the window--" I stop talking as flashbacks began to invade my mind. 

The cracking of her skull echoed in my head ahead and I shivered. "I don't want to talk about this," I muttered. 

"Do you miss her?" Dr. Oaklen asked. 

"More than anyone can imagine." There hasn't gone a day where she hasn't been on my mind. Adalyn isn't someone I can forget and never think about--she is the first person I think about in the morning and the first person I see when I close my eyes. 

"I pushed her away--it's what I am good at. Everyone has a breaking point and I think I pushed her past that many times until she realized it wasn't worth the pain to continue being with me." I confessed to her, bitting the inside of my cheek, remembering all the times I caused her to cry. 

"It must not have been easy for her to walk out on you, on the life she had grown accustomed to." She replied. "Her abandonment must've caused a trigger with your drinking habits." 

I chuckled dryly. "No. She didn't abandon me, Adalyn made a grown decision which she believed was best for her. Her leaving didn't cause my excessive drinking. I have been drinking for years, an addiction was bound to happen." 

There truly wasn't a reason for me to start drinking, I think with the wide range of responsibility as a Prince, I was expected to do what grown-ups did--even if it meant drinking at a young age. Obviously, I wasn't drinking hardcore liquors, my parents would have never allowed it. I remember my first drink was red wine at the annual winter ball, I was thirteen at the time. 

At first, I thought the waiters had caused a mistake for giving me a wine glass and when I tried to return the drink my father said tonight I was allowed to drink a glass of wine. He talked about it being a celebration of my upbringing. I didn't understand what he meant by it and I pretend like I did. Any thirteen-year-old boy would want to drink an alcoholic beverage, I was at my curiosity peak. 

After the wine, my drinking habit began to spiral into beer, whiskey, vodka--any liquor out there I have tried it. Being a Prince no one questioned why I drank, I suppose they didn't question my drinking habit because I have authority over them. I find it strange how Officer Ron didn't scold me when he caught me drunk one night as I returned from a high school party. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming others for the position I am in, yet I wonder why no one tried to stop me. Why didn't I try to stop myself from going down the dark alcoholic rabbit hole? 

***

Guys, I have a question, I am thinking about making a Patreon. I want to be able to focus on my writing a little more. I am thinking aboout releasing previews of the chapters, chapters that didn't make the story, and early releases. 

what do you guys think? If you have any cool perks I could add I wil take it too!