The Tattooed Prince 2

92.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around my frame and pulled me towards him. "You did not run away this time Adalyn. You left hoping to find peace somewhere and you did. Look how far you've come,"

I took a step back to look at him. "I am back in Spain crying my eyes out in front of my ex-husband. That's how far I have come?" I titled my head to the side confused. "I found strength and kindness in strangers, but I have also found anger and that is who I don't want to be—angry,"

Before today I felt anger towards him although it goes away and comes back, it is truly what I feel most of the time—anger. I am angry with Sebastian, his parents, the Royal Counsel, and mostly myself. I tried to be what they wanted me to be—a princess, a queen. All I wanted was to feel a little more human.

"I wanted to go off on my own because I thought I could do this without you. Sometimes I cannot deal with everyday pressure and another days I can rule the world on my own. Yet, I am always angry. You want to know why?" I hiccuped.

"I put you on a pedestal like everyone else, hoping if I did that, I'd be enough. Enough for you to want me, enough to be accepted, to be enough for myself. Reality took awhile to hit me in the face, because I will never be good enough for you, them, or myself.
You found peace within your demons and you better yourself. Congratulations. But do not tell me I came far," I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand.

"I am still in the same place as when I left you,"

I am as pathetic as I was when I first barged into his life. He reached out for me and cupped my cheek.

"I cannot speak for the past, I did what I did, but you are wrong about one thing. You were good enough, I thought I could live without you. And here I am Adalyn, still heartbroken, pretending I can be around you without being with you," he licked his lips. "We are broken, so what? So is everyone else. You have come far. Maybe you don't see it, but everyone else does. You're happier without me." He sounded sad.

My eyes watered again. He took his eyes off me to look down at the ground. He released my cheek and placed his hands in the front of his pockets. "Truthfully, I feel happier alone. I don't have anyone who will be affected by me anymore. I don't have to go to bed every night worried the person on the other side of the bed is suffering by my absence. I love you, I probably always will. You and I have met at a cross road, and I think it's time for you and I to say goodbye for good and move on."

Hearing him say those words cause me to let out a small sob. How was it possible to hurt as much as I am right now without being with him? Maybe I still had hope him and I would work it out. Hearing him want to say goodbye made it all too real. He is ready to move on.

"Do you love her?" I was referring to Libby.

He let out a short chuckle. "No. I can't force myself to love her. I want what is best for Ian and being with Libby isn't good for him nor me. I plan on getting her a house in Madrid so she can raise Ian. I'm not going to pursue getting him a title, this isn't a life I want for him anyway. I'm going to ask Esther to take the throne when I'm ready to step down. Which at this point might be soon."

He is thinking about giving up the throne? Who was this guy? The Sebastian I knew would say he spent his whole life to be The King, and here he is thinking about giving it away. Who was he now? What made Sebastian-Sebastián if there isn't a crown involve?

"Why give up something you have always wanted?" I asked confused.

"Like you, I'd always wanted to be enough for them, for my parents, for myself. You know what though? I am good enough. I don't need anyone to approve of the person I am. I'm capable of running a country, being a son, and a good father. What I refuse is continue being a slave to everyone else around me. I've lost enough," he said.

Haven't we all? When I first became involved in his life he made it clear being a Royal wasn't a walk in the park. To have it all you, you must give everything up. The palace strips you down of your integrity and you're left bare. Sebastian was the one who gave up everything, yet the palace never gave anything in return. Was he truly meant to be alone?

The Air-head Prince is suppose to be with someone—a life of solitude wasn't written in the books.

"I'm not happier without you," I blurted out. "A life of solitude was something I experience early in my life. I didn't like it and I know you won't either because you've felt alone all these years. We had a great thing and we will never find a relationship like this."

"Addy, I cannot be with you without hurting you. And I can't bare doing  another thing to you. I rather admire you from afar than watching us crash and burn again,"

"What makes you think we will fall apart?" I began to raise my voice. "We are two different people now and anything is possible."

He took a step towards me and grabbed my hand. "Exactly, we are two different people now, you may not like the person who I am. Or I could not like the person you are."

My eyes watered. "Do you not like the person I have become?" I muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "I love the person you were and are becoming. At the moment though, I need to be alone. I need to fix the mess I left behind and I don't want to ask you to wait for me. You have a good thing with Mateo, everyone can see it. Fall in love with the guy, experience something new. There's more out there than just me." He licked his lips. "You need closure and I'm giving it to you. You never anything wrong. You stood by my side after every screw up, you loved me, and you became my rock. You left because you needed too and I will never blame you for it. We were great, Princess. But you and I know all I did was try to hide you away. I can't ask you to come back to me when I have a mess waiting for me back home. You're doing great without me. You may not think so but I see it. I love you, Princess,"

I had tears streaming down my face for what felt like the hundredth time. I understood what he was saying yet my heart didn't want to register it. Sebastian wants a normal life and if he wants to get it I can't be around. I can't pressure to believing he is wrong because I don't even know if he is. It hurts to hear him say these things, and at the same time I feel a relief. My chest feels a little less heavy.

I grabbed onto his face, catching a few tears streaming down his face. "I love you, Sebastian."

***
Sorry for the long wait. But I am currently working and I hardly have time to write, so enjoy this short chapter!