The Tattooed Prince 2

79.

Adalyn Point Of View:

I should've told Mateo about how nervous and unprepared I was to return back to Spain. Although nearly a year has passed since my departure, I wasn't ready to return. My adventures have taught me many things and gave me the strength I needed to forgive Sebastian, yet I felt as if the moment my feet land back on Sebastian territory I was going to lose. All the feelings of hurt, anger, and love were going to rush back in and I was going to return to being the Heartbroken Princess.

Mateo could sense something was wrong with me. I was acting different and I tried to act like the cheery person I had been this past month, sadly it became difficult to concentrate on something else than our trip to Spain. 

"I tried waiting for you to confess what's been going on with you, but I have a feeling you aren't going to tell me. So, this once, I'm going to have to get it out of you." Mateo said as we were leaving the restaurant. 

I gave him a confusing pretending to be oblivious to what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?" 

He rolled his eyes, something he has been doing a lot for the last few days. "You've been acting differently ever since you agreed on going to Spain." He told me what I already knew. It was our second to last night in Cancun and I hadn't enjoyed my time here due to me overthinking about the trip coming up. 

My brain didn't want to stop thinking about returning and it was driving me insane. "I don't want to go," I confessed. 

"Yeah, that's obvious. Adalyn, no one is forcing you to go back." 

"You're right, but I can't forget I have a family and they wish to see me. I can't delete my memories from Spain without pushing my family away." I responded continuing to walk down the street towards our hotel. 

He grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Stop running off like you do when you don't want to talk about things. You and I don't work like that."

I sighed. "Sorry," I muttered and sat down on the bench. 

"You aren't ready to go back and that's okay. Tell Delilah the truth, she will understand."

I shook my head. "Tasting freedom was supposed to help me heal the wounds I got from being in Spain. For some time I thought those wounds were healing but I'm starting to accept all this time I was pretending to get over it. I'm never going to forget Spain and how much Sebastian hurt me." 

Mateo crossed his arms over his chest, giving me a perplex look. "You know what your problem is? You have such a huge pride you refuse to accept the forgiveness your heart is willing to give to Sebastian. People make mistakes all the time, unfortunately, some people make the same mistakes over and over again. They learn and become better. Who are you to continue to judge the guy for his mistakes?" He asked me. 

I looked at him stunned. Was he trying to make me feel bad? I was the one who was hurt when I was with Sebastian. "I am the girl who he hurt." I raised my voice. 

"And you aren't the only one who he has hurt. Beleive me, you have to learn to get over what he did to you Adalyn because at this rate all you will be filled up with is bitterness. You yearn so long for freedom without realizing the freedom you were looking for was the one which you escaped from yourself." 

"You don't know anything about me." I spat angrily. "Just because I told you about myself doesn't make you an expert on me!" 

"It doesn't but I know you. I was like you and let me tell you if you don't get off the pitty bus you've been riding on for months now you'll never have the guts to go back to Spain. Traveling and tasting freedom Adalyn means learning and growing as a person and all you've been doing is pretending to be okay. You've cried and hurt about his betrayal and your heartbreak, you've gotten angry, and tried drinking it away. You aren't the girl I met at the bar over a month ago. You're so much better than that, you've grown and matured. Sometimes when we are faced with dealing what fears us the most we become afraid and that's okay. You aren't ready but it doesn't mean you're still mad at him."

I dropped my shoulders forward in defeat. As much as I want to argue back with Mateo about what he was saying, the guy was right. I'll always be able to go back to the pain and remember how badly it hurt. Time had played its part and those wounds no longer bleed. I don't hate Sebastian. All I don't want to do is return back and not see him around. Our memories are buried in the soil of Spain and going back there means replacing those memories with ones which us doesn't exist. That's what I'm not ready for. 

"So I don't want to go..." I trailed off. 

"Then we don't go." He simply said. 

"I have a question for you, when did this adventure, this turn into we?" Are we going to start talking French? Mateo made it clear he had feelings for me and I made it clear to him where I stood, so knowing how we stand as individuals why did he continue being around?

He clicked his tongue. "The moment you and I decided to explore the world together, it became a we thing." He licked his lips. "Adalyn, you may not know it yet, but I do. You're my karma and at the end of this, you'll break my heart."

"What?" I demanded. "How could I possibly be your karma? I told you I like you but right now isn't the right time for me to get into a relationship with someone." 

He chuckled quietly. "I know you like me. I understand you aren't ready to be in a relationship and believe me you don't owe me an explanation. A part of me knows your heart will forever be in the grasps of Sebastian Cortez." 

His twinkled with sadness. Mateo understood something I didn't and it hurt to think I could possibly be the cause of his pain. "My heart belongs to me." I corrected him. "Sebastian is my first love, it's like I know a part of your heart belongs to Gisele. It's impossible to forget our first love." 

He took a step forward and reached out to touch my cheek. "I don't believe in loving someone, not after the hurt I caused Gisele, but you Adalyn, you make me wonder what it might feel to love someone and have them love you back." 

"You can't possibly love me." I choked out. 

He caressed my cheek, before tilting my head upward with his thumb. "You, Adalyn Haynes, can't possibly like a guy like me." He responded. 

Even if Sebastian dominates a part of my heart, it is possible for me to like someone else. And for the first time since I met Mateo I took a moment to take in my feelings. This time Mateo was wrong and of course, he knew that. I told him I liked him. Yet, I hadn't confessed those feelings to myself. I don't like Mateo, I really like Mateo, enough to want a relationship with him. 

***

As much as Sebastian is improving, Adalyn wasn't obligated to wait for him to get better. Might be the first time I am actually rooting for the Second guy character to stay with the main character. Like I said before, I don't even know how this story will end.