The General Store

Chapter 24: The irreplacable

Matron told me I worked like a trooper.
Viv said I worked way too hard.
Maggie wasn't really sure what to say.
Penny never took her eyes off me.
I couldn't have told you what day it was.
I was totally and utterly broken, so broken in fact that I spent seven days in a haze. I don't remember one name of a patient I nursed, or what they fed me for breakfast or dinner. All I remember is that I didn't say a word, my voice had been snatched from my throat and thrown deep into the jungle.

'Are you going to talk to me today?' Penny questioned, handing me a clean bed pan. I didn't reply, my head hadn't registered what she'd said.
'I guess not.' She hung her head, placing a pillow at the head of the bed. I turned my head to her, her eyes meeting mine sending me into a puddle of tears. I sunk to the floor, curling up and letting the grief fall from my eyes.
'I'm sorry Penny, I'm so sorry.' I cried.
'It's alright Brookie, you made it a week without absolutely loosing it, I think you've done pretty well.' A tear slipped from her eye as she held me close.
'He didn't deserve to die, he had such an amazing life ahead of him, it should've been me.' I blubbered.
'Not one of them deserves to die Brooklyn, not bloody one, but that's what war is, it steals everything that's precious to you and then rips it into a thousand little pieces and leaves it to rot.' She explained, her hand caressing my cheek as we both cried.
'I want to change my wish.' I sniffed.
'Change it to what hun?' Penny brushed her eye.
'As cliche as this sounds,' I began. 'I wish I could've told him, how much I love him and how thankful I am to have had him be the one to change my life.' I began to console myself a little as my best friend and I huddled on the ward floor. I had felt a lot of different emotions over my time in Vietnam, some not being the nicest and some being the most vibrant, but that morning, I cried the hardest I'd ever cried before. All over the man who had made me feel like the most important person in the world. All over the man who kissed me and promised life was going to be magnificent. All over the man who loved me.

'C'mon, one step at a time.' Penny guided me up the stairs and into the mess hall. We stepped through the door and the entire place stopped. I was slightly startled by the action and found myself needing to lean on Penny for stability. With every eye on us and every person's mind chugging away, Penny lead me to a table near the door. She walked over, took two plates of slop and walked back. She turned to the crowd and smiled.
'Ladies and Gentlemen, we are not a freak show, every single one of you have lost someone close to you I can almost guarantee it, I can also guarantee that you spent more than a week mourning the death of a loved one and neither one of us stared at you, so, engulf your minds in reality and PISS OFF!' She announced, loudly and forcefully. Almost instantly people turned back to their food and began eating.
'Thank you.' I whispered, spooning the mush into my mouth.
'No worries, I was getting sick of it anyway.' Penny rolled her eyes making us both chuckle.

I never finished my meal, I really didn't feel like eating the stuff they served up. Penny and I made our way back to high dependency for the nineteenth time that week and began our work.
I dragged my nine tonne feet over to Bed 18. I picked up the clipboard and signed it absentmindedly. I slumped down onto the stool and turned to the patient.
'Hello my brown eyed girl.'
I fell off the stool, literally. I felt all the blood drain from my face and I screamed in terror or was it gratefulness?
'Brooklyn? Holy shit!' Penny took a few steps back at the sight before her.
I rolled onto my knees and reached out my shaking hand, my finger prints hit his cheek and I felt a spark rush up my arm. His piercing green eyes locked with mine, I could see pain and hunger and stress seeping out of them, but I also saw the sweetest relief. Patrick's hands cupped my cheeks, and a serious look fell over his face.
'I'm so sorry.' He said simply.
'I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have done that Pat.' I swallowed.
'No we shouldn't have, but I'm here now, everything has fallen right into place, we're going home Sister Murphy, we're going home.' A tear slipped down his cheek. I lean in so my forehead rests against his, our breathes shook as we closed our eyes so caught up in the moment nothing else in the world mattered. He kissed me so tenderly I swear I saw stars. Our lips moved in perfect sync and our souls were one once more. His chapped lips tasted of April, a sugary black tea and a ginger biscuit, his skin was soft like a gentle spring rain but warm like a summer dream. Everything about him was perfect and even though it is as cheesy or as cliche as the movies you see at the theatre, I fell in love with the taste of his lips and the sound of his boots and the light from his smile, I fell for the simple things and he did the same. If a person is able to see beyond the money and beyond the replaceable's that relationships seem to be based off of, then they are going to love with the whole of their heart, the whole of their being and everything in between. Believe me, I have seen it first hand.