Niall: How are you?
Me: Much better thank you very much Mr. Potato
Niall: Really? Mr. Potato?
Me: Yuperee my Irish unicorn
Niall: Oh my American Pegasus
Me: How was breakfast?
Niall: Amazing. But the workers gave me weird looks
Me: How much did you eat?
Niall: Only like 2 1/2 plates of food
Me: Oof. I max out at 2 so cant help you with the other half of that 3rd one
Niall: Its cool, Lou helped eat the rest
Me: And he claims he doesnt have a fat arse
Niall: 😊
Me: What?
Niall: I'm rubbing off on you
Me: What makes you say that?
Niall: You just said arse and not ass
Me: Techincally I texted it
Niall: Smartarse
Me: *in Stephanie voice* How rude
Niall: *in DJ voice* Oh my Lanta
Me: NO WAY JOSE!!! U WATCH FULL HOUSE TOO?????
Niall: A little here and there
Me: GIBBLER GALLOP!!!!
Niall: What?
Me: Oh nvm. You don't watch it enough
Niall: So arent you on ur period?
Me: OH SHIT! I NEED TO CHANGE MY TAMPON!!! HOLD ON A SEC!!
Niall: Tmi Elise
Me: Okay I'm back
Niall: You okay?
Me: I mean if you call shoving a cotton tampon up my vagina to stop my menstrual blood from pouring out and ruining my panties then yes I'm okay
Niall: Sheesh you make it sound difficult
Me: Being a woman is difficult
Niall: Poor you.
Me: Yes, bring the pity chocolates to me
Niall: What chocolates? Pity chocolates aren't a thing
Me: Well they should be. I'm in tbe mood for chocolates. Here's my address **********, La, CA. I expect them here in a day or so
Niall: Okay Eli
Me: Sooooooooooooo, how are you?
Niall: Honestly?
Me: No I'm okay with you flat out lying through text. YES HONESTLY!!
Niall: I'm really stressed
Me: *takes out notepad and puts on fake glasses* take a seat on my couch. Stressed about what?
Niall: Ive just been getting hate from the fans
Me: *tilts glasses down* Hate about what?
Niall: They say I'm ugly and untalented
Me: *throws glasses to the side and sits up in chair* Niall, sweetheart, you are perfect okay? And this is coming from a girl whom you have only texted. You are smart, funny, charming, dare I say cute
ESTÀS LLEGINT
Texting Niall Horan???
Fanfiction"yo bitch who do you think you are stealing ma popcorn?!?"-me "um what?"-unknown "shit, Jessie changed her number. Sorry bout that"-me "no problem"-unknown "want to chat?"- unknown "how do I know if you're a stalker?"-me "I guess you'll just have to...
