Theory [TOM HOLLAND]

FIFTY ONE

the golden trio
[3 participants]

plant mom
it's wednesday night

god
i'm aware

plant mom
wednesday nights are supposed to be family dinner nights

plant mom
and yet i'm down here alone

god
what did you make for dinner

plant mom
why

god
just trying to figure out how elaborate my lie has to be to avoid it

plant mom
listen i made quinoa and we're having a nice family dinner in the common room

plant mom
it's not up for discussion

god
ugh kara stop feeding us healthy grains

melton john
yeah hard pass

melton john
your grains cause me pains

plant mom
this is for your benefit mel

melton john
what do you mean

plant mom
i thought a nice home cooked meal and your two friends would cheer you up

melton john
you thought permanently destabilizing my small intestine and forcing to spend time with ian would make me feel better?

god
excuse me

melton john
listen

melton john
ever since you started learning magic you've been insufferable

god
paul rudd said it was cool so it's cool

melton john
you disappear from every decathlon meeting in a cloud of smoke

god
yeah which is fucking COOL

god
you're just jealous that my bedroom is where the magic happens

melton john
and by that you mean where you practice magic

god
yeah what else

melton john
i don't have time for this

plant mom
what don't you have time for mel?

plant mom
your friends?

melton john
that's not what i meant

plant mom
wasn't it though

plant mom
we never see you anymore

god
kara's right

god
you've gone full hermit

god
last time you left the library someone took a picture and put it on twitter like a bigfoot sighting

plant mom
i was hoping tonight we could spend some time together

plant mom
you never even spend time in our room

melton john
maybe that's because you do yoga half naked and burn sage all the time

god
that's definitely not sage